willowing

Printable Tam Art Calendar Now For Sale! :)

2012-01-26T16:19:00.001Z

Woop woop. I finally got round to finishing off this baby. :) I know I'm a bit late, but there are still 11 months in the year so I thought there is still time to enjoy this printable calendar with uplifting Tam Art! :)

Here are the details:

Buy the printable calendar for ONLY £4.50 (approx $7 USD) and print it out or use it however way you want at home. (If you are a member of my art community or if you have 'liked' my Facebook Page you get the calendar for only £3.50, so if you really want the calendar, sign up to my art community or like my Facebook page for sure!).

I decided to offer calendars this way as it's much more affordable for everyone this way. Normally if I have them printed by a company (at A4 - 12 x 8" size), I end up having to charge like £20 GBP including postage and many of us simply can't afford this, so I thought I'd offer my calendar as a printable! This way everyone can have a bit of my art in their home! Yay! (I recommend printing them on good quality stock paper, either matt photopaper or watercolour paper).

I've used the paintings that all have uplifting, life-affirming slogans in them, so they will help you remain connected to your inner divinity throughout the year!

Have a look at the preview - click on the image to see large version:

How does it work?

Once you have paid, you will get a confirmation email. In this email you will find a link to a downloadable PDF file which you can then print out at home or at your local printers (they could also bind it for you if you don't know how to do it yourself!). Or you don't bind it at all and hang each individual page up each month, or you use them in your journal! The possibilities are endless! :)

Like what you see?

Buy NOW!

£4.50

My Dream Board for 2012

2012-01-19T13:40:00.000Z

This year, I hope to do as many Life Book guest teacher's lessons as possible, so that my Life Book will be big and fat and pretty at the end of the year. So this weekend I convinced Andy to take Elliot for an hour or 2 and made a Dream Board (also known as Vision Board)!

I made this based on a lesson by Juliette Crane who offered this in week 2 of Life Book! I loved the idea and thought it would go well with the 'word for the year' idea (my word is 'open').

Though Juliette's Dream Board contained mostly collaged images, I wanted to do a lot of writing and draw representative images. I found creating the Dream Board very meditative and I liked the process because I could dwell on visualising what I wanted for the year. This is my list of hopes/ dreams/ wants for this year:

More time with family
More community & friendships
A summer holiday
An open heart, open mind, open soul
Presence
Peace
Balance
Love
Art Living
Health
Read more

I found it interesting to see that a lot of those wishes are quite abstract rather than concrete. But I felt quite good about that. A lot of those are inner experiences rather than hopes that depend on things that happen on the outside. :) It was quite eye-opening for me. By Art Living I meant to be able to continue making a living out of art as I do now. It is something I desired throughout my life and enjoy it so much. I want to hold onto it if at all possible! :)

Another thing that was eye-opening for me was to see how close friendships and community have become more and more important to me in life. There was a time where community and family just did my head in, now they are on the top of my list of important things. :)

And then there is 'health'. Now that I've given birth to 2 babies and am coming out of the pregnant mother phase, I'm much overweight and would love to become healthier in that respect. But food, for me, is wrought with complications, attachments and triggers, so I don't know how easy that is going to be, but I'm trying and being kind to myself about it as much as I can.

So here is the Dream Board in full:

I loved being able to create this and this will be page 2 of my Life Book! Eeh, exicting! :)

It's not too late to join Life Book,

come join the 950+ students who have already joined!

Awake VS Asleep

2012-01-13T19:01:00.001Z

So, I said I'd do shorter and more often blog posts, but all the stuff I want to write about seems to have long, endless thought processes attached to them. Ack. Why can't I just write quick things about muffins or puppy dogs? Or post 1 picture blog posts? I used to do that on livejournal, I used to post 4 times a day with funny little tidbits! Ha ha. I suppose that is what Facebook is for me now. The really short posts go there!

Anyhoo, there are a few things I want to write about. One thing I wanted to write about is my dreadful incapacity to remain awake, mindful and aware. In a zen sort of way, that is. It seems I really like being asleep, in a zen sort of way, I don't mean, physically asleep, but more 'mind-asleep'.

What I mean by that is: I relish in just going into automatic mode. The physically awake, yet trance like state of just doing/ being, without being present. I like it there, it's warm and cosy and comfy and snug, for some reason. Oddly, I also like being alert, aware and mindful, in fact, when I'm there, is when I feel most alive. But my default position and go-to state of being is snuggy sleepy cosy. Why? I just don't know. Clearly, I prefer it there, most needs get met there, rather than in that other head/ life space.

The reason I have a problem with sleepy mode is because in that mode I am less healthy and present and here-now. I eat too much, without knowing why I eat, I watch too much tv (on in the background) without really watching it, the noise ust lulls me; I'm dozy, spaced out, only sort of half here, half alive... Like being drugged up of sorts.

Though it's a comfy space to be in, that is not the space where I'm clear headed, healthy, emotionally robust, spiritually free and appreciating my life here.now. I would really like to be light and free and awake and aware, but clearly I also want that other state, otherwise, why would I be there? I need me some Eckhart Tolle helpsies.

I'm glad that I'm not judging myself as such for prefering sleepy mode over mindful-mode, because the harsh self judgements just seem to make things worse, however, I do wish I could be less sleepy mode, more mindful-mode. Spiritual teachers all over the place would have all sorts of responses to this that would baffle me I'm sure. I can see Mooji, Byron Katie and Tolle now trying to respond to my stuff and me just not getting it. Ha ha.

Anyhoo, just wanted to write this up, not really trying to find a solution, just trying to write more frequent, shorter blog posts, hee hee! :) Oh also, I usually have a great resistance towards any offered solutions, like: meditate or build rock towers (though I like the idea of that one more!).

:) Over and out, I'm going to try be more awake and mindful now.

PS. Of course, the fact that I am sleep deprived on a daily basis due to 2 kids under the age of 3 doesn't help with the mind staying awake, never even mind the body! ;P Thanks for reading, lovely reader. x

A Tam Update! (Finally!)

2012-01-08T20:02:00.000Z

me, published, eee!

Ok, so I've decided I need to do more and shorter blog posts instead of few, endlessly long ones! I've been mulling over a blog post forever now, not finding time, writing bits and bobs here and there and continuously remembering other things that need to be included in the post! I'm never gonna get to actually post that way and my last blog post was over a month ago; that gives me twitchy eye! And though I have good reasons for having neglected my blog, I just don't like it. I enjoy writing and I enjoy reading back over posts months and years later! So, without further ado, here is a mini update on all that has happened since I last wrote! :)

Elliot turned 6 weeks old this last Friday and he is amazing! He's already doing lots of smiles (melt!) and responds vocally when you talk to him. He's not too bad a sleeper and is generally a pretty chilled baby. Sleep - in particular - though I am never 'well-rested', is going a lot better than when I first had Dylan and I attribute this to the magic of 'lying down breastfeeding when he wakes at night'. With Dylan I never 'dared' to do that because I worried I might suffocate him or the blanket might or or or other endless fears. Now, there are many less fears. We're all a bit more chilled. So sleeping is more manageable than it ever was with Dylan.
Here is his cute little smooshie face, smiling and all:

Elliot - 4/5 weeks old
Speaking of lil Dylbee. He too is awesome. Though he does have tantrum and moody moments, he is generally a happy, cheerful, kind and well-adjusted little toddler man. His speech is going crazy now and he comes out with hilarious sayings and sweet stuff. He is also taking well to his little brother, though we are always vigilant because he can suddenly do something off like whack Elliot on the head out of nowhere (woops!). But overall, I worship the ground he walks on. It's crazy how much love you can feel for a little person like that.

Here he is:

Dylan - 27 months old
I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST! Finally! After my first fail, I was very nervous to try again, but did it. I feel like a 'proper' grown up now. LOL. I can finally drive a car, after all those years!
I got published in Somerset Studio Magazine!!! Woohoooo! I'm SO proud! It's the Jan/ Feb 2012 issue, AND, I will ALSO be published in Somerset Apprentice and Somerset Digital Magazines! (Which I think are the March editions). I feel so proud and humbled to have this opportunity to be published!! My goodness!
Life Book has started off with an ALMIGHTY BANG! :-) Over 915+ people are now part of the experience and it's going fantastic! People are enthusiastically doing the work, posting it in the forums and Facebook/ Flickr groups and supporting each other with love and encouragement! It's truly humbling to see how wonderful everyone is to each other and the amazing art work they are already creating! It's NOT TOO LATE to join the course, if you want to be part of the fun, SIGN UP HERE.

So, those were the quick up dates. But more has happened. I've had some personal spiritual and emotional insights which I won't go into right now, but it did prompt me to choose my word for 2012 which will be:

OPEN

(more specifically: "breaking open", but more about this in another post).

And here some more pictures of the last couple of months!

Happy New Year from Us! :-) Here are some pictures I wanted to post a while back of Elliot's and my labour.

Early labour, still relatively 'in control', was trying to do Byron Katie type exercises on 'pain' thoughts which were mildly effective. I remember calling the pain 'my friend coming to help me'. Ha ha. That changed later! It was no longer my friend but the "effing b*tch who could go to hell"! ;)

Second stage, really wanting to be knocked out with anything at this point.
I would've agreed to a sledgehammer, I kid you not!
It looks so serene doesn't it? It was anything but! LOL!

Minutes after Elliot was born.

Minutes after Elliot was born.

Big bro & lil bro. :)

So, that was my version of a 'quick update' ha ha. I don't think I did too badly. ;) More stuff has happened and I want to write about more stuff in depth, but this will have to do for now.

Also, I'm aware of people suffering, which is always there for me. And I send out love love love and more love.

Big hugs!

Elliot is here!

2011-12-05T16:08:00.000Z

♥ Elliot Paul Rudolf Mason ♥

25th November 2011

9 pounds 10 ounces

4:45 pm

Brighton Hospital

He's here, finally. After waiting an extra 15 days and a labour that was more painful and took longer than expected as well, Elliot, little EllieBellie is finally, finally here.

So, Dylan, Andy and I were a particular shape. We had found our ways, had our routine, did our thing and then shazam! Another being joins and you're 'forced' to change your shape. This change is difficult for all involved. Of course. So, now, we're on day 10 of Elliot being our newest member, we've already gone through: feeling weird, elated, grumpy, confused, utterly exhausted, angry (Dylan), happy (Dylan) and many more highs and lows of emotions.

Dylan in particular liked the baby at first, but was very, very sad and disturbed to see him breastfeed on the boobies that were 'his'. He had a few good meltdowns over this, but, since yesterday he's contented with the rule that 'the baby gets milk first, because he can't eat things like 'mananas'' and then when baby is finished Dylan can have milk. This seems to have really appeased him. He often wants to hold, cuddle, kiss and hug the baby which we think are all good signs. :)

Here they are together:

Hormones are now fluctuating, so I'm up and down a lot with baby blues and crazy mummy mania, but that too is already getting less. Though not as much of a 'birthquake' with Dylan, Elliot's arrival has truly whacked everything out of shape (again!). You kinda think it won't, or only a little, and then you realise how little you were really prepared for the massive impact a new baby will have on your little family from before. A whole new shape is needed. We're getting there. I think our shape is going to be starshine heart shape with rays of light beaming out oh and a bit of unicorn. :0)

Elliot and Tam's Birth Story

Since having given birth to Dylan, I read a lot of other people's birth stories and a lot of people don't start their stories the way I want to start mine. They seem to 'romanticise' the whole process a bit. The way I want to start the birth story is: holy motherfucking mother of hell this baby birthing thing hurts so bloody much!!

Right, got that out of the way. :) I really cannot for the life of me not say that first. It is, for me, THE most excruciatingly painful thing a woman can ever go through (apart from perhaps going through massive rheumatic pains and a few other chronic illnesses). And to gloss over that, or not even mention it up front, to me, is like, I dunno, not being true to what the overriding experience actually was. And for me it was: misery, pain and true hell. Of course, afterwards, totally different story, but birthing not my favourite thing to do to put it mildly!!

Ok, so what happened? Elliot was 14 days overdue so I went in on the 15th day to have my labour induced. I was already feeling very apprehensive about inducing the labour, I had a couple of days before asked to delay the induction in hope that labour would've started naturally, but nothing happened, so on 24th November I went in at 8am to start induction.

By 11am they inserted the first pessary. This pessary is an artificial prostaglandin and is meant to soften up your cervix. Because my cervic was no where near low down, still high up and tight shut (it was trying to tell us something I think), the midwife had to insert the pessary in a rather 'plumber-like' way. (LOL). This was not massively painful, but definitely uncomfortable.

Then, nothing much happened for about 6 hours. Andy and I mostly played word welder on our iPhones. The fact that nothing happened in response to the first pessary was frustrating for me because I had hoped to be in at 8am and out by 8pm that same evening (still banking on this whole idea that a second birth is faster). Ha ha. Mostly because I didn't want to leave Dylan with anyone other than myself at night. Alas, it wasn't so and my wonderful neighbour was a trooper and looked after Dylan like he was her own!

At about 5pm they inserted another pessary, again, in a plumber like manner, oh so elegant! Nothing much happened for a while again and Andy and I went to a local pub even where they had lovely food! It was actually a lot of fun to go out just the 2 of us like that. :)

Andy wasn't allowed to stay the night, so he left around 10pm and I went to sleep around 11pm after having chatted with the lovely Katie who delivered Dylan. She is flat out awesome and she was on shift that night, so we were hoping that she could catch Elliot as well! Had a lovely chat with her and went to sleep.

In my sleep, I noticed that some really mild contractions had started and I remember being so tired that I ignored them and slept through them, ha ha. Then around 3am, I thought my waters had broken, but instead it was just quite a lot of mucus (I found out hours later), but the contractions were getting stronger, so I called Andy and he drove to the hospital straight away.

So, when Andy got there, it turned into a bit of a waiting game, sort of, as the contractions were coming on, but not as fast as with Dylan. With Dylan the first thing that happened was my waters breaking and from there on it went pretty fast, but this time, we timed the contractions to be every 7-10mins or so and stayed like that for quite some time.

Ok, so this was around 11am and at this point, I was finding the contractions pretty painful already and then I remembered how with Dylan there was a time that I could not help but SCREAM through the contractions and so at that point I thought to myself: 'oh noes! I'm finding the contractions already very painful and I'm not even screaming yet!! - what's gonna come?' And then I said to Andy: I think I'm going to ask for an epidural. (While with Dylan I was all gungho about going totally natural, this time round I was all for trying to give me an easier time (though of course I didn't want to overdo it, morphine! morphine! morphine! hee). But yes, I wanted them to be prepared for that I might want an epidural. So I told the midwife.

She looked hesitant. Not a good start. See, here in Brighton, if you're a low risk pregnancy, they're not going to encourage you to have pain relief like epidurals and for good reasons of course. But, when you're the one in pain, you don't want resistance. No. you. don't.

So this particular midwife, informed the labour ward and also asked if she could go ahead and break my waters. She then also did an internal and found I was about 4cms dilated which meant I could go up to the labour ward (before that I was still on a maternity ward.)

Ok, when I arrived on the labour ward, I was introduced to a new midwife who I immediately explained to that I wanted an epidural. She then explained the risks to me and started what I've come to refer to as the 'stalling process'. (Again with good reason, but when you're in so much pain, you hate them for doing this). The stalling process goes somewhat like this:

Mother in excruciating pain: "I want an epidural"
Midwife who is not in excruciating pain: "Well, why don't we wait and see for the next 2 hrs, your waters may break at any moment and then it'll go really fast"
Mother in excruciating pain: "No, I want an epidural, now"
Midwife who is not in excruciating pain: "I really think if we wait a bit longer you'll be 10cms in no time and then it would be pointless to have the epidural as it'll take 30mins to put in and 30mins to take effect. Let me examine you to see how far you've dilated."

I then agreed to be examined with a huge sigh and heaps of reluctance. So she examined me and said that I was about 6cms dilated, she then said that we could either wait and see if my waters would break naturally or she could break them for me (with a scary looking crochet like hook, mind you). I was desperate to get things to go faster, so I said 'go for it'.

She broke my waters and then the contractions really started to kick ass. Faster, more intense, more frequent, more painful. Helloooo!

Please. Epidural. Now.

She got the message and found me an anesthetist, who was -luckily- readily available, as often they are otherwise engaged. He came over and explained the risks to me (again). He also explained that he needed to put in a 'cannula' for a drip, I was like: 'whatever you need to do dude to get me out of this hell hole of miserable pain' (ok, I didn't say that, but I think everyone got the message).

So he started to faff about with my arm/ hand and oddly, he had to be overseen by my midwife doing that. It occurred to me that it was odd that the anesthetist who was going to put a needle in my spine of all places, needed supervision from a midwife, but at that point, I was so desperate for pain relief that I would've let a toddler do the spinal block on me; paralyse me for all I care as long as I don't feel this anymore! So I didn't mention it. Cannula went in, but the plasters didn't stick very well. Again, I didn't pay too much attention to it, too busy being in the most horrifying pain of my life and also: I started throwing up.

All of a sudden, the whole thing became like a scene from fawlty towers or monthy python or something.

I was throwing up, while having massive and frequent contractions, the anesthetist was ready in good old scrubs and disinfected gloves plus mask with all is little surgery equipment on a table, his boss, was there as well to 'oversee' (again: I thought: what?! is a student going to put a needle in my spine, but then couldn't care less), then all of a sudden 2 new midwives came in to alleviate the one for lunch (lunch seemed like the oddest concept to me at that point, too normal for the state that I was in) and then there was Andy, too. So there were about 7 people plus myself in one room, I was throwing up, and then, I was asked to sit on the bed with my back arched towards the anesthetist for the best way to administer the epidural. I could hardly do anything with that pain, but ok, I tried. When I went to sit down, I didn't sit down 'the right' way, so the midwife asked me to move and as I tried, the cannula (from earlier) popped out of my arm, as did about half a litre of blood! It sprayed out like mad!

Nice one.

And while under more normal circumstances I would've freaked out a bit to see so much blood squirt out of my arm, under these circumstances, I just rolled my eyes and hoped that someone was on the case as I had other things to be busy with.

So then everything got a bit fawlty tower-esque with one midwife running over to try stop the bleeding, another getting me another puke bucket, Andy picking the cannula up off the floor, other people looking confused at the labouring, bleeding, puking woman screaming obscenities. Crazy chaos moment that was.

Then when all had calmed down a bit and my arm had stopped spraying blood, one of the midwives said: 'I think we'd better check how far you're dilated because I think you might be quite far, and if you're near 10 already, the epidural will be useless as it takes about an hour to do it all and by then you may have already given birth'.

Really, really, not the thing I wanted to hear: more stalling. But, she made sense. Also, the boss of the dude who was going to put a needle in my spine said that it would be a shame to go through having an epidural done with all the risks involved and then not have any use of it.

So, even more reluctantly I agreed to be checked again. Yep. almost 10 cms now, so epidural is really not a good idea (according to everyone in the room apart from me).

Ok, why not go in the birthing pool? Cool, I liked that idea as Dylan was born in that very same pool. They filled up the bath, I went in, and then the pushing part started. Only, I was so so exhausted, so fed up, so in pain, that I wasn't pushing 'right'. I knew from last time round how to push, it's like this:

Open up, go with the downwards pressure, don't bear against it in order to brace against the pain, noooo, open up your 'canals' and willingly decide to be in even more pain than you were before.

In other words: you need to go against what you instinctively want to do: brace against the pain, and willingly open yourself up to be in even more pain. So it's like telling someone to walk into a fire, or walk over glass. No one in their right mind wants to do that.

So, for a very long time, I kept 'bracing against' the pain, which effectively means I was doing a sort of clenching thing, 'down there' and not opening up the way for Elliot, but 'opening up' was just so so painful, I could not get myself to do it. The midwives kept saying: bear down into your bum etc. t this point though I was SO fed up that at some point I said to the midwife: 'please, can't you knock me out or something and cut this baby out of me?' They laughed!! And I said: 'this is REALLY not meant to be funny, I'm very VERY serious'. When they told me that wasn't possible, my brain started scheming. I remember thinking: 'hey, isn't there a drug that stops / slows down contractions? if they give me that, then they can put in epidural and then they can start contractions again using pitocin' ha ha. I was totally out of it, but I was so clear headed about this plan. I remember just thinking to myself: 'How can I convince them, this is a good idea?'

I spent too long pushing in the bath. At some point, instinctively I wanted to get out of the bath, I felt I needed to be more upright. Use gravity. So after about 2 hrs in the bath I got out and went back to the room. I panicked a bit, because Dylan was born in the water and I didn't know how to give birth 'on land'. I couldn't lie on the bed, lying down was the last thing I wanted to do, so, I stood in front of the window and saw this iron bar attached to it. It was the perfect 'holding on to' bar.

So I stood in the room for a while longer and I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I found some kind of strength within me that I didn't know I had. From whence I do not know it came! I was like a woman I didn't know, like a primal cave woman who stood upright, with slightly bent knees and I started to fucking push. And it came with such strength and primal force, it wasn't me anymore, it was I dunno, some kind of flintstone in there that did it all.

Then, I thought the head was out, and this, for me is the most painful part of the whole birthing thing. As I thought the head was out, I thought the midwives would started pulling Elliot out, but they didn't do anything, so all of a sudden I heard this voice scream, no squeal: 'pull him out!! pull him out!! why aren't you pulling him out?!!!' And all of a sudden I realised it was MY voice screaming this, but I had never heard it at that pitch and with that hint of craziness before! Then like 5 voices were screaming back at me! Which was confusing as I didn't know who to zone in on, so I just kept screaming back: 'pull him out!! pull him out!!' Then, I heard a male voice cute through it all say: 'You need to hold you breath and push again - into your bum'. Ok, so this was clear, I had to push more. So I pushed more, and more and more.

Turned out that when I thought the head was out, he was only crowning! So I pushed and pushed and pushed and I remember screaming in pain while half hanging off that bar, half falling through my knees until I felt all of his limbs and his entire body fall out of me.

The relief of that moment is indescribable. It's over. It's over. It's over. Hallelujah. It's over.

Apparently Elliot had a lot of the cord entangled around his body (not his neck), so it was a bit of struggle giving him to me, but they managed. And as hard as this labour was, I remember being instantly concerned for babe, wanting to know if he was ok, and then I held him! And all was instantly beautiful. (Though a little sore, down there).

Then, there is this beautiful peace and joy and happy stuff. The after care is something I really enjoy. They do your stitches if you need them, make you a nice bath, make you toast, give you drinks etc. You get to chat (and apologise) to everyone and you're just generally in an oxytocin bliss which is just wonderful. Also, you're just so happy you're not in pain anymore and then there is the wonder of getting to know your new baby!

Oh another hilarious thing happened. So I needed some stitches and they gave me gas and air to deal with the pain. I only ever had 2 puffs of gas and air with Dylan which had no effect, so I didn't think gas and air was going to do anything for me. But they said to use it anyway and inhale really fast and deep. And so I did and got instantly massively stoned!! LOL! I couldn't stop laughing, it was HILARIOUS. I used it twice and the second time I used it right when something was really painful, so I inhaled even faster and deeper and then I saw black and said: 'oh noooo, I think I overdosed!!' While still giggling through that too!

That gas and air stuff is truly funny, and the moment you stop inhaling you're back again. It wears off within seconds!

So then Elliot was checked over and we were released after 6hrs! We were home by midnight.

And now, we're doing the early newborn thing of no sleep and trying to adjust back into life. We are totally in love with Elliot, he is amazing. And Dylan is coping so well now.

It's a remarkable thing, this life. I'm blessed and grateful. : ) <3

Thanks to all for reading if you've made it this far!

You are not alone in this

2011-11-21T11:16:00.001Z

So, I'm sitting here a few hours away from going in to hospital to possibly have my labour induced. I'm having very mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, I realise that not inducing can pose a risk to baby as the placenta tends to become less efficient after 42 weeks (though some sources say the placenta starts to become less efficient over 48 weeks, the info is conflicted on this). Also, the baby can become big which can cause problems during delivery (shoulder dislocation for one), it is also more likely to pass meconium into the water and if baby inhales it, it can cause pneumonia. Instead of 1 out of 1000 babies being stillborn before 42 weeks, the figure goes up to 2 out of 1000 when they stay in over 42 weeks.

On the other hand, induction comes with its own potential problems: prostaglandin pessaries and/or synthetic oxytocin can bring on stronger than usual contractions which can cause the baby to go into distress. It can also mean that I'm more likely to want/ need pain relief which can mean a need for more intervention.

More than this. I don't feel emotionally ok with the idea of induction. If feels like a version of aggressive eviction: "you must get out now because we say so" type thing. I know that this isn't rational and possibly very hormone influenced, but I want my baby's very first choice in life to be 'his own'. Ie: I'd love for him (or my body whichever actually makes that decision) to make the choice to come out. Not me or a bunch of medical people. Why would a baby stay inside if it doesn't need to? That question keeps coming to me. Surely nature knows what it's doing, no?

Don't get me wrong. I know this is not intended as anything other than keeping him safe. It's not really the case here in the UK that the medical guys induce for reasons such as lawsuits and covering their own back sides, so I do appreciate and understand the care with which these decisions are made.

And still. It feels too aggressive to me. Why would a baby stay in, if it's not healthy for him? What is wrong in my body or with him to stay in without needing to? It makes no sense.

The other worry I have is about Dylan. I particularly feel very stressed about the idea that he might wake up at night and doesn't have me but the neighbour or a family friend (who are both awesome btw) tend to him (he loves them both, but it's so much more vulnerable and weird when you wake up and everything is suddenly different and your mummy isn't there as usual).

I had a massive cry about this last night. I just want Dylan to be ok and not be traumatised by the experience of suddenly finding his mother missing in action. We've prepared him immensely about the baby coming and I have no problem with me being away during the days or early mornings, but it's that night time thing where we are so close and I've never been away from him at night, that the thought of him finding me gone kills me. (The weird thing is: he's probably going to be all right and this probably just my own projections, but still, that thought just kills me).

With induction, there is also a chance that everything takes longer and that I have to stay in hospital longer. I seriously dislike staying in hospital anyway, but to be away from the little Dylbee in the nights is another killer on top of it.

So, I'm considering postponing proper induction until at least Thursday which is when I've properly reached 42 weeks. I might ask them later today to do another cervical sweep and just give me the 24hr pessary (which a milder pessary - still prostaglandin - they insert and then send you home for 24hrs), to give this babe another few days to start it all himself (with help from the pessary and the sweep - hopefully).

Labour dust and peaceful thoughts are welcomed at the moment. I want to feel strong about it, but I'm mostly quite emotional and am on the verge of tears a lot. Just want both the bambinos to be ok.

I want to thank everyone who's been leaving messages, been following me on FB and leaving sweet messages of support and love. It means so much to me, I get totally emotional just thinking about how sweet everyone has been. <3 You people are amazing.

Love to all. xoox

PS. A special special heartfelt shout out to my neighbour Corrina who has been offering the most amazing unconditional support when it comes to this (ready to be late for work, leave early from work, come to our house in the night to be with Dylan etc - she makes me cry with her kindness). <3

The waiting game

2011-11-14T17:31:00.001Z

Well gosh! We did not expect this babe to take his sweet old time as he's doing at the moment. You see, little Dylbee came bang on his due date, so we sort of assumed this one was going to do a similar thing! He was due on the 10th and it's now the 14th, almost the 15th! (I know some babies go way over than just 4/5 days, but still!)

All household labour inducing remedies have been tried and none seem to have much of an effect. Gah. I don't mind him being late, but but but, I don't like the idea of being induced, and soon the medical people are going to be a bit twitchy and will want to interfere a bit. Also, the longer he takes, the bigger he'll be and the harder he'll be to push out! And, lastly; the placenta can start to deteriorate as well. All not fun things. So, I ask the bubba to please decide to come out sort of before this Wednesday (which is when my next midwife appt is and when she's probably going to offer me a "cervical sweep").

So, it feels like we're in a bit of a 'twilight zone' at the moment. I hadn't made any concrete plans for this week, or any plans at all but be with babe etc! Now, I find myself with a lot more time and space to do stuff (though my energies are incredibly low, so I mostly do low key painting and blogging and things like that, earlier, I had a nap too, it's slow low key pace type of thing :)).

I made a few paintings! I call them 'wacky hair ladies'. Hee hee. I already posted 'Lou Lou' the other day, and here are 3 more! Ariana, Made of Butterflies and Smokey:

I think the last one's face looks a bit like Tori Amos though it wasn't intended. :) It's real fun making these guys. I'm experimenting with spray inks and stencils, something I haven't done some much in the past. Also, there is loads of rubber stamping and brayering going on in these pieces.

If you're interested in buying any of them (though Ariana is sold already), have a look at my new art blog solely dedicated to the sales of my original art (I used to have shop on my site, but with the new dynamic blogger system, it's much easier to maintain a shop/ sale place like this now, yay!).

My new blog is here:

http://willowing-arts.blogspot.com/

So, anyway, no babe yet, so I'm around, though I'm low key on da intarwebs. :)

I AM however still signing up new students for Life Book and other courses.

If you want to join the 400+ students who've already joined Life Book, make sure to sign up

OVER HERE

Lou Lou & the waiting game

2011-11-08T12:55:00.001Z

So, today is 3 days away from the official due date. I am swollen, huge and exhausted. Walking is a thing of the past, sitting I do fine and lying down I do quite well too. My concentration is waxing and waning, but I feel so much passion for the work that I do and my family, my Andy, Dylan, this new babe about to grace our lives. I feel privileged and blessed and so very very lucky.

I manage to sneak in little bits of art time here and there and have finished a new portrait, I call her Lou Lou. :)

It was fun doing the layering in the hair. I've been playing with a few new materials lately: spray inks and acrylics inks. Yum. But guess what, I dropped a bottle of acrylics ink on the bottom of this painting!! Such a waste! I hadn't fastened the lid tightly enough! I managed to salvage the painting though and in a way it was kind of a 'happy accident' as it gave an interesting extra layer!

Here another detail shot:

Lou Lou is for sale, msg me if you're interested.
So, other than that; it's the waiting game now. We're all set, we've got all the hospital bags ready, house is ready to greet the new little one. I'm really excited about meeting this new babe, also; weary of the birthing process (my only consolation around doing this again is that they say that a second baby is much quicker!) Fingers crossed, fingers crossed, fingers crossed! I'm not looking forward to going through that kind of pain again, but hey, it's gotta be done!

Also, of course, wondering about the impact this will have on little Dylan. I very much hope it's not going to be too unsettling for him. And then also, I hope that the birth will go ok and that babe comes out happy and healthy (there is always the small fear about something going wrong!) And there is still the naming thing. Neither one of us is really excited about any of our chosen 'maybe names' which I don't like. I'm hoping that maybe during the birthing process a name will come to me that overrides all of the ones on our list, otherwise, we're going to look at him and then decide. It's been so hard this time round to find a name for babe!

Anyhoo! In other news, I've just published the WEEKLY year schedule for Life Book which looks amazing! Click on the image below if you want to download it too, it looks just DELICIOUS to me! If I didn't run this course myself, I'd definitely go on it. Ha ha!

(Just click on the image to download the PDF).

**************

Want to join the 360+ students

who have already joined Life Book?!

CLICK HERE

Dreamscaping

2011-10-27T14:31:00.001+01:00

Dreamscape
24 x 16 inches on wood

For Sale
£149 GBP
(approx $239 USD)
+ shipping

Last week, I was lying on a hospital bed with my head in a cupboard. For some reason I thought it was poetic, to be lying with one's head in a cupboard (the bed folds out from a cupboard down). Next to me, in his own bed, lies my 26 month old son with breathing difficulties. He's got an oxygen level monitor taped to his toe and an oxygen dispersing pipe taped to his t-shirt blowing concentrated oxygen into his little face to help him 'work less hard' to keep 'his sats' up. When you're healthy, your oxygen saturation is around 97/98/100%. When Dylan first came into hospital it started at 88%. They think it was bronchiolitis and if you don't help a little one breathe when they have this, they can become too tired from working too hard to get the oxygen in which can - in serious cases - be fatal or at least cause some kind of 'not so fun things' to the brain. So, I kept watching the little red numbers go up and down, 91%, 88%, 94%, 96% and tried to be ok with yet another nurse forcing a nebuliser or ventilator on him which terrified him.

The first night, sleep was horrific, though Dylan - so tired - slept through all the noise. Wards are really not my thing and if I could decide where my tax money goes it would be on health and education only and first priority is to create single rooms-only in all hospitals. Wards are not conducive to healing. Sleep and good food are top priority to overcome illness and the hospitals don't provide either of those. Ridunkulous.

There is something so inexplicably difficult and painful about seeing your own child suffer. To see the fear in their eyes, to see them going through uncomfortable (or downright painful) experiences. It requires such a zen mind on the part of the parent, to 'let suffering be' and be strong so that you can be there to process it with your child afterwards. It requires a type of strength that I didn't think I needed to have. What your child needs is for you to be strong and there for them, but when you see them kick and scream against the people who hold him down to put a mask on his face, all you want to do is break down, fall apart and scream and kick too. (Particularly when you are 8.5 months pregnant).

Luckily, I've been told by a friend (who is also a child psychologist) that the key thing for a child not to be scarred for life from a traumatic experience is to be able to process the experience afterwards in however way they need to. If there is no adequate outlet to process the experience, it is much more likely that long term scarring might occur.

So, empathy is needed after the trauma. A way to express without being told 'you're wrong to feel that way' or to be dismissed for what you were feeling, nor to be told that you 'should be a big boy' or to be denied that the experience was the way it was for him. A child needs to be able to express and then be reflected back to. So, the reflecting back would sound like: "you were really scared weren't you, when they put the mask on your face?" - "you really didn't like when they put the tape on your toe" - "it was very upsetting for you when daddy had to hold you down, wasn't it"? It's a simple reflecting back of what he was feeling - no need to say: "but it had to happen", "you don't have to feel that way" etc.

Within the NVC process of communication there is an element called 'empathy giving' and this is what we use when Dylan is distressed. Whenever he is upset and we empathise with him, he calms down within minutes. All he needs to know is that he is being understood and heard around his pain. Sometimes we offer a small explanation as to why what happened, happened, but not usually before he's calmed down. When he is upset, we reflect and reflect and empathise. It is an amazing way of providing support for someone in distress.

I am incredibly grateful for this tool as I am always worried that some of his experiences might 'scar him for life'. I'm so glad to know that most long term scarring can really be avoided as long as the traumatic event is properly processed and empathised with.

Dreamscape
24 x 16 inches on wood

For Sale

£149 GBP

(approx $239 USD)

+ shipping

When we were finally allowed to go home (I sobbed in front of doctors who told me we had to stay another night - not because I was worried for Dylan - he was doing fine - but because I thought I'd go insane having to stay there another night! At some point I hysterically exclaimed: 'If I'm going to have stay here another night, you're going to have another patient!' - Crazy pregnant lady alert that was), Andy fell ill!

Now, we're a week later, and we had planned a 'baby 2 day' yesterday to get all final preps finished for the next arrival (due in 2 weeks) and: our childminder fell ill! (She still is today).

So, 2/3 weeks before giving birth, one bit of chaos after another jumps into my lap! Is the universe trying to tell me something you think? ;) Are these ominous signs from the babe to come to warn me to prepare for a chaotic child? ;) Or, is this the 'storm before the silence'? I hope so! Ha ha.

Anyway, as you can imagine, I'm tired now.

And on top of all of this, I have continued with all my driving lessons (my practical exam is on 3rd of November, lol, which is a week before due date). Talk about too much on your plate eh. But hey, I do like me a good big meal! Although I don't always eat it all.

Dylan is fine now and he continues to grow physically and cognitively on a daily basis. Yesterday, he started singing 'baa baa black sheep' out of nowhere but with all made up words, it went something like this:

"Baa baa back sha habboo any wuuuul? Yes sa yes sa dee bag ool". That sort of thing just makes me so crazy happy. It's those moments that make every hard thing worthwhile. I wouldn't give that up for anything.

Andy is also ok, we're just now waiting for the childminder to find her footing again. We did manage to get some stuff done for babe 2 yesterday, but it's like this poor one is not going to get the royalty treatment Dylan got.

I'm ok too, but tired, have to pee every 2 hours at night, stomach feels like 6 basketballs packed tightly together and when I sit down I have to have my legs wide to let the stomach hang in between them. Charming no? ;)

I'm still passionately working on Life Book - people continue to sign up which is also SO happy making (we now have over 300 students!!) ! And I'm about to publish the weekly year schedule, so that everyone can see what will happen on a weekly basis! How cool is that?

Here are some more detail shots of my newest painting I did a week or so ago. I love this painting a lot, one of my most favourite ones that I've done. :)

Dreamscape
24 x 16 inches on wood

For Sale

£149 GBP

(approx $239 USD)

+ shipping

Back to work lovely people. I hope everyone is doing well and sparkly. :) Big hugs!

****

Do you want to join the 300 + Life Book Students and have an awesome year of art making in 2012?

THEN COME JOIN US NOW BY CLICKING

HERE

:-)

♥
♥

Me, new art, life and 'surrogate suffering'.

2011-10-12T17:19:00.001+01:00

So, it's about time to do a bloggie about me don't you think? I know, you've been dying to read more about my life, haven't you!? ;)

Well, I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant, round round round, busy, crazy busy and in love with my family and the world. That would sum it up pretty much.

Ah, you want more detail. I get that. ;)

Ok, well, here is how round I am:

I know, you *really* wanna do a belly swap with me right? ;)

Well, I'm pretty much consumed with 2 things at the moment: being pregnant and almost giving birth to babe nr 2 and Life Book. Then also, of course: Dylan and Andy, sleeping, trying to keep my sanity and eating chocolate muffins are also high on the list. Oh, I also try to take a few moments each day to relax and I paint to relax. The above image is a detail shot of a recent painting I've been working on. Those who follow me on Facebook will have seen it already. I've been experimenting with combining different face styles together. The face in the lower part of the painting is a stylised face and the other two are much more realistic. The top two are done through a different technique: paint-over acrylic's transfer (similar to paint-over collage). I'm not sure if I like the combination of the different styles. I like them all separately, but not sure if they go together. Interestingly, on FB there is a varied response, some people love the combination of different styles, others don't!

Here is the painting in its entirety, but it's not finished yet, still in progress, also, this pic was taken with iphone, so it's not the greatest pic of it:

The baby bump is so big at the moment that I'm really ready to have him out. But, I'm almost 36 weeks, so have to wait just a little longer. After 37 weeks he's ok to come any time apparently. Dylan came bang on his due date though, so if this dude is anything like him, he might do the same and I'll have to sit it out for another 4 weeks! Then of course: the whole birthing thing again; NOT looking forward to that bit in particular, but hey, it'll have to happen, ha ha.

Now, Andy and I are pondering on how to best prepare for babe nr 2. There are a lot of unknowns: how's Dylan going to respond? How much will this impact our current way of living (again! lol!), how will we organise all the night time arrangements etc.

No doubt it'll be almost as life altering again as when Dylbee graced us with his presence, yet, we don't really know it yet. Oy ve! Ha.

Speaking of Dylbee who is now 2 years and 2 months old. Woah, time flies! He is many things in the span of a week: hysterical, beautiful, amazing, annoying, stinky, wonderful, growing with leaps and bounds, expanding his vocabulary on a daily basis (he's recently started doing this thing where he tries to copy almost everything we say, including: when I call out for Andy, I call: 'Andy? Babe!?' and Dylan is now doing the same, he goes: "Daddy?! Daddy?! Babe!?" but the 'babe' sounds more like 'bep'. Ha ha! It's hysterical. I can't stop laughing every time he does it)! It's truly incredible watching him grow and develop. It's so fast now. Every day it's like he's a different person with more awareness and understanding. And the love, oh the love for this little being, sometimes it floods me and overwhelms me with such magnitude, it knocks me off my feet.

Here are some pics of him:

(These were 'zen' stones that Dylbee collected and I laid them out nicely in a row, very zen no? ;))

And here is some new art I hadn't shared yet, these are new journal pages:

Also, here are my first Life Book pages! :-)
These are the pages I'm creating in the first few lessons for Life Book! Eeee!
Exciting no? :)

Other than that, I'm ok, but I do still go through phases where I do this thing where I read something horrible (like a 10 month old who has been kidnapped or a 2 year old with leukemia) or hurricanes, earthquakes, wars and people going through tremendous suffering and then I imagine it happening to me and I then can't stop crying. I've always been an empathetic person, but since I've had Dylan this has become 'worse'. I put 'worse' in inverted commas as I think empathy is brilliant of course, but I also think what I do isn't necessarily empathy, but more a sort of "surrogate suffering" that is 'useless'. Ie: how am I helping anyone, by imagining my own child having leukemia or being kidnapped and then crying about it?

I think this behaviour actually stems from stuff that happened in my childhood, what I mean is, when I 'suffered' in childhood due to bullying and other things, I didn't feel anyone cared, and I think subconsciously I think that if I do the 'surrogate suffering' for these people who are going through these terrible things, I somehow express 'care' and 'solidarity' which is almost like I'm giving myself empathy, care and solidarity for the stuff I went through when I was young. So by expressing care and sadness for other people's suffering, I'm also sending myself the same on some level.

I know, it seems perhaps convoluted and roundabout, but I think I'm onto something here.

There is the additional fact, of course, that I really do care for people and their suffering. Truly, if I had one wish in the world, it would be to erase all suffering (or at least: certain types of suffering that seems too painful for me - certain type of suffering should just not be 'allowed'), but I also think when I do this 'solidarity crying', it's about me and deeper stuff about me.

Additionally, the fact that horrible things like leukemia and kidnapping etc happens to little ones, does make me feel fearful and worried about what could happen to my own children. Imagining Dylan with cancer just absolutely devastates me in so many ways and on so many levels. And then I think: but this IS happening to some people! And that's how I get into a crying sessions, imagining how those parents must be feeling etc etc. See? Useless no? How is that helping anyone?

And of course, this 'behaviour' is very non-zen or being in the now. It's all about future projection, attachment and 'false suffering'. (Well, it isn't 'false' as I am suffering, but I'm crying about an imaginary situation: Dylan having cancer or being kidnapped (!)).

The other thing that is going for me too is that: all children in the world are Dylans to me. It's isn't less 'bad' that it's happening to someone else's child, it's as painful to me to see a little 2 year old starve to death in Ethiopia as to see a 2 year old in France battling cancer or Dylan going through something horrendous.

Anyway, I try to be more present to just the now and tell myself that if such a horrendous thing DID happen to me, I'd have to deal with it then and not suffer for it now, but at times I just can't help myself and just tears keep flooding out of me. I suppose preggo hormones don't help either.

Byron Katie helps me too with this, though her 'work' is quite radical and one needs to live it continuously. Also, at times it feels devoid of empathy. Anyhoo, the other day, this vid of hers helped me:

and also this one always helps me as it's about fear of 'something in the future', worrying about a projected potential future (that is totally me):

and lastly this one also mighty helpful:

I just watched all of those and I'm actually feeling a lot lighter again.

But anyway, I go through phases of just feeling absolutely aggrieved by what goes on in the world and feel lost as to how to deal with it. Byron Katie and Tolle are my usual go to guys to feel more balanced and leveled, but the outbursts often come back. I suppose their work is something I need to integrate into my life on a daily basis.

Don't want to end this on a slightly sad note, I'm not sad now, just wanted to share this with the world out there, as I feel sharing this sort of stuff often helps others too and I'm all about wanting to be authentic and open, so there! :-) Let me know if you understand/ relate?

On a VERY happy note: Life Book has just exploded with sign ups, this makes me soooo happy I could cry happy tears! :) I'm also very excitedly writing up the detailed WEEKLY year outline (we're doing something every week, even though small things on some weeks), which is just so cool! And I'm super excited about having 2 more teachers join instead of Leonie! (I'll be introducing them on my blog this week and next week too). They are Kylie Fowler and Tracy Verdugo!

Registration is still open if you want to join the 220 + students who have already joined!

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP!

Inspiration Station: Mystele - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-10-05T23:38:00.000+01:00

Hello people of the world!

Dylan is going through some kind of weird regression or it might simply be a 'transition' in his sleep behaviour (can you believe it, right before babe nr 2 comes?!). He's just doing very weird things, like the other day he decided to wake up at 4am, yesterday, at 2am, though he continued sleeping until 5, but he didn't have a nap during the day. All very odd. Consequently, earlier I had a little lie down and couldn't keep my eyes open! Grrr. Lol. I get by, but it's weird how his sleeping behaviour is gone all awry and it's really bad timing!

Nevermind, today, let me introduce you to the very very lovely Mystele from little glimpses studio. Many of you are familiar with her and her 'gut art'. From the moment I saw Mystele in her youtube videos I fell in love with her kind, compassionate and real personality. Also: her art really inspires me. She has a very distinctive style that I admire, it's 'grunge', it's layered, it's so very deliciously mixed media! She also likes to work 'green' (not the colour, but I mean environmentally friendly) and so often works on cardboard! Whenever I watch one of Mystele's videos, I feel happy. :-)

What I love about her work

Gosh, what don't I love? For me, Mystele produces the kind of work that even if she calls it 'ugly', I still think it looks great! Because of the texture, the layering, the attention to details, the extra elements you discover (look at the socks on that bird up there!). I love that she uses distortion of perspective and wonky angles to draw you in and make you think. I am reminded of the distortion of perspective that Van Gogh sometimes used.

She has a free and raw way of working. Bold brush strokes, messy and layered effects and she accentuates her paintings with vivid colours.

She has the kind of style that I often try to emulate but never quite reach. I stay 'cleaner', more 'precise' and then get frustrated with the lack of freedom and expression I think I see in paintings like those of Mystelle's. I have a similar response to Jessie Reno's paintings, they seem so expressive and free, and no matter what I do, I can't quite seem to get to that point of more free, more messy, more mixed media! Haha.

What I love about Mystele

She owns 'purity of intention', bravery of heart and rawness of soul. I don't know if I can say much more that that, those qualities speak for themselves, but it's just that she comes across as honest, raw, open, kind, compassionate and willing to look at herself. She's encouraging (has kind things to say, sends me short little emails of praise and thanks that cheer me up and on) and she is wide-eyed and open. (I think I already said open, haha!).

Whenever I watch Mystele talk or work I feel at peace, joyful and happy.

I'm SO happy she said yes to contributing to Life Book 2012, she is going to add so much to the course!

:) If you want to find out more about her, do take a peek at her blog and site over here:

http://mystele.squarespace.com/

************************************

Want to join us on Life Book 2012?

CLICK HERE

Inspiration Station: Samantha Kira - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-10-04T19:40:00.000+01:00

Wuzzah groovy people! :)

Dylan woke up at 4am this morning and decided not the sleep anymore! So I am massively bleary-eyed and on the verge of falling asleep at my desk! BUT, I am sure I can muster up some energy to introduce you to another wonderful Life Book Teacher.

Today is all about the enchanting Samantha Kira.

Sam is one of those people who is thoughtful, open, authentic and real. I got to know her a lot better through her participation in the '30 day vlog' challenge which Effy and I also took part in. It was refreshing following her vlogs in which she shared her art, daily life, joys and struggles. :) I also feel a kinship with her as she too suffers from a chronic illness. Obviously, both of us would not define ourselves as 'being our illness', but it's something to connect over and it's often wonderful to receive empathy from someone who understands your situation.

What I love about her work

Primarily a journal artist (though she also works on canvas and does stitch/ sewing work), I love the colours, composition and designs Samantha uses.

I always find her pages interesting and they invite me too look for longer than I usually do and I tend to discover new elements the longer I look at one of her pages. She collages, layers, paints and uses her awesome handwriting to put together her works of art.

I enjoy her bold use of colour combinations and am really enamoured with her style of {swirly} handwriting which I often try to emulate in my own paintings! I also really like how she combines writing chunks of text with other elements on her pages.

What I love about Samantha Kira

She is thoughtful, she cares about you, about me, about the world. She's brave and faces struggles head on and expresses pain and difficulty in an eloquent way, inspiring others in their struggle to be brave and keep going. I appreciate her honesty, her creativity, her passion and willingness to stay strong even in the face of adversity.

For me there is a depth to Samantha which gets carried through into her art. In Dutch there is an expression, it goes like this: "Stille waters hebben diepe gronden", the translation is something along the lines of: "Quiet waters go deep (or have depth)" *** and while I don't particularly consider her a "quiet" person, there is a kind of introspection about her, which to me hints at that going deep, if that makes sense! :)

I love that she is going to be part of Life Book! Her style, techniques and lovely personable being will be a great addition to the lovely bunch we have lined up! :D

*** I just realised that the exact translation of that Dutch expression is: "Still waters run deep" but didn't want to rewrite that part, ha!

You can find Samantha Kira over here: www.journalgirl.com

************

Intrigued by Life Book? Want to join us or read a bit more about it?

CLICK HERE

Inspiration Station: Jane Davenport - Introducing the Life Book Teachers!

2011-10-03T15:49:00.001+01:00

My goodness you guys, the response to Life Book 2012 is phenomenal and SO humbling. I'm overwhelmed, over the moon and awestruck at how so many of you are SO enthusiastic about the course. *happy tears*

Well, to continue the momentum and the celebration, I want to finish introducing you properly to the last 3 Life Book Teachers who I didn't get a chance to introduce yet. Today, let me tell you all about the effervescent and talented Jane Davenport!

A photographer extraordinaire with a personality that instantly makes you happy and a talent for design & painting, Jane is a force of life not to be reckoned with! I got to know her first when she attended a few of my online classes. Her paintings and creations always stood out and inspired me, but more so, she was such a positive and happy contributor to the course, encouraging others, sharing her work and always with that excellent positive outlook on life! :)

What I love about her work

Jane has a very distinctive and attractive whimsical style that draws me in immediately. With a background in fashion design, her technical drawing skills really come out. I enjoy her soft colour pallete, subjects (often girls with cute little animals) and her art journal pages are a true inspiration to me! :)

Creative, imaginative and exploratory are just a few words that come to mind when I look at her work. (Oooh, I would include some of her photography here too, but that would take up too much of the space and I want to focus on her paintings, go check out her website HERE, if you want to admire her photos too!).

I also love how she is not afraid to experiment with materials and techniques, her art journal pages open up a kind of free feeling in me because of it. :)

What I love about Jane

She is such a generous, giving soul. Like I said before: she has a tendency to bring happiness with her wherever she goes, and has such a positive outlook on life. Whenever I think of Jane, I can't help but smile. She once sent through some of her merchandise to me as a gift and it included a little green t-shirt for Dylan which he wears a lot and loves! So I have a bit of Jane in my house all the time! :)

I'm so excited to have Jane be part of the Life Book course- she's going to add such a positive, happy spark to the group! :D I'm super happy she will share her painterly talents with us as well! :)

I think she is still holding a give away on her blog, so have a peek there: http://www.janedavenport.com/

***********************************

Do you want to come and join us on Life Book?

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO AND SIGN UP PACKAGES

Wow - Life Book!

2011-10-02T08:57:00.000+01:00

Wow you guys! The response to Life Book is INCREDIBLE! I'm so happy (and exhausted, up at 4 this morning arranging signs ups and what not!), I think I might be running on adrenaline and adrenaline alone! LOL.

I just want to address a few things that people have been asking me and I'm hoping that those with questions can find them here today and then tomorrow I can actually respond to your individual emails and msgs (just can't today, SO sorry!).

Those who have approached me about monthly payment plans: I'm on it and will be in touch with you on Monday (rest assured that I've not been inundated with requests in such a way that I have to refuse any of you - though it's getting fuller now).
For outcomes of the prize draws/ give aways please go the respective LB Teachers' blogs. I don't know who the winners are (apart from 1 - Lisa from Artist Cellar won Effy's give away). You'll need to go to their blogs to find out. Also, they all have different dates to announce the winners, but they'll announce the winners themselves, not me! :)
Yes yes yes! You will be given access to the self study groups straight away (within 24-48 hrs of having sent through payment - though please bear with me in weekends as it's not always easy to get to a computer then) You don't have to wait until Jan 2012 for the self study groups.
Some of you want to do payment plans for the premium or rainbow packages (I don't have a button for that, but can set up an arrangement, contact me pls to discuss: willowing [at] gmail.com).
Is there a class size limit? No. Registration remains open throughout the year. So we could end up with quite a few people, but we have 15 teachers. Please note though that because of the magnitude of this course I am unlikely to be able to give feedback on work in the way I usually do on my 'smaller' courses. However, I will dedicate 1 day a week to giving feedback on posted work and will aim to cover the most common problems and issues coming up.

I hope this addresses some of your queries for now. I'll be in touch with you personally tomorrow!

Thank YOU so much to all who have already signed up! I'm just overwhelmed and over the moon and so grateful!

Life Book - Now Open for Registration!

2011-10-01T16:15:00.001+01:00

Eeeeee!

Good morning/ afternoon/ eve groovy art gang! :D

Well, the news today is:

LIFE BOOK 2012 IS NOW OPEN FOR REGISTRATION!

(I know 2 days early, long story, nevermind!). :-)

I simply can't contain my excitement to invite you to come on over and join us on this EPIC journey of a WHOLE YEAR of mixed media art making and celebrating and honouring ourselves while making that glorious art!

SIGN UP NOW

BY CHOOSING ANY OF THESE PACKAGES,
OR SCROLL DOWN TO READ MORE!

Basic Package
(Access to Life Book &
1 other of Tam's courses)

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and click on 'add to cart' below

£60 GBP
(approx $99 USD)

Premium Package
(Access to Life Book &
2 other courses of Tam's)

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and click on 'add to cart' below

£81 GBP
(approx $129 USD)

Rainbow Package (Access to Life Book &
3 other courses of Tam's &
2 hrs of skype coaching by Tam)

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and click on 'add to cart' below

£94 GBP
(approx $149 USD)

3 Part Installment Payment Plan
(Access to Life Book &
1 other of Tam's courses)

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Step 1. Token Buy of 0.5 USD
(this is needed to track 'how you got here'
for my affiliates)
Step 2. please follow instructions in your confirmation email from ejunkie to sign up to the 3 part installment plan through paypal.

£23.5 GBP
(approx $37.5 USD)
per every 4 months

For more information about payment plans, please click here. There is also a limited number of monthly payment plans available - if you want to apply for that plan, pls contact me on willowing [at] gmail.com

Watch the Promo Video:

Or read some more info about the course:

"Life Book, a celebration and honouring of YOU”

is a year-long mixed art class organised by Tamara Laporte from Willowing Arts.

She is joined by 14 incredible art teachers who are all gearing up to share their mixed media techniques, tips and tricks with YOU! Themed around self-development and healing, you'll be creating a minimum of 2 loose mixed media art journal pages per month (through a minimum of 2 lessons a month) which by the end of the year you will bind into a glorious journal (a Life Book)! Depending on which sign up package you use, you will also be able to get access to some of Tam's other courses!

How are the lessons structured?

Tam will provide 1 mixed media lesson a month (posted on every 1st Monday of the month) and there are 14 contributing mixed media teachers who will each provide a lesson for a month they've been assigned to (these lessons will be posted each 3rd Monday of the month)! In addition there will be extra things happening the other weeks: artist interviews to inspire you, journal prompts to encourage you, extra art exercises, tips and tricks, you name it! This course will be overflowing with lessons, inspiration and stuff to keep you busy the whole year!!

You will become part of a thriving, buzzing, creative community with opportunities to make new connections, learn many new mixed media styles and techniques and make new arty friends!

Download all class materials to your machine, keep them forever
Learn many new mixed media techniques and styles
Grow and develop both personally and artistically
Receive extra inspiration, like PDF worksheets, art journal prompts, free uplifting affirmation jpegs (for you to print and hang up), give aways, artist interviews etc!
Connect with like-minded creative people
Make new artistic connections
Become part of a buzzing/ thriving art community for a whole year!

Learn from the most inspiring Mixed Media Art Teachers:
Mystele, Wyanne, Gritty Jane, Jane Davenport, Rhomany, Bonnie Rose, Juliette Crane, Effy Wild, Guadalupe Brizuela Cabal, Adriana Almanza, Jodi Ohl, Connie Hozvicka, Samantha Kira, myself (Tam) aaaaand, another mystery teacher will be announced over the next 3 months! :D
So COME SIGN UP NOW! :)
We'd be SO happy to have YOU!

Last 3 Life Book Teachers!

2011-09-30T19:47:00.000+01:00

Oh you guys!!

Chaos has ensued and I have been much too caught up with programs crashing on me and trying to get stuff organised before the weekend, so sadly I won't be able to introduce you to the last 3 LB teachers in depth, BUT, I will quickly list them here with piccies for you to see and links to their blogs because they too are doing give aways! (Andy is away this weekend, so I have Dylan all by myself and won't be able to do much on computer).

ALSO, there is a change to the date of registration! Instead of opening the doors to Life Book on Monday, we start opening our doors (with welcoming muffins inside) TOMORROW ALREADY! Woop woop! So keep an eye out tomorrow. I'll be announcing it everywhere I can! :)

So, the last 3 beautifuls who'll be joining me/ us on this Life Book Journey, are:

Samantha Kira (journalgirl)

Give Away will be held here: http://www.journalgirl.com/
*give away will be up later today - keep checking back*

Jane Davenport (artomologist)

Give Away location: http://www.janedavenport.com/2011/09/24/life-book-a-year-of-journaling/

Mystele (allround wonderful person)
Give Away location: http://mystele.squarespace.com/notes-from-the-studio/life-book-give-away.html
*sorry, I thought Mystele's give away was up already, but I think she scheduled it for Sunday!*

Have a lovely weekend all!! :D

Hugga hugga!!!

Tam x

Inspiration Station: Guadalupe Brizuela Cabal - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-09-29T21:40:00.001+01:00

Good day ya'll!

How is it going? It's scorching hot here in Brighton, UK! How odd no? Almost October and now they decide to bring on summer. Ok, not complaining, just bemused and I can't really enjoy it as I'm stuck indoors all day working on Life Book! :)

Well, today I have 2 bits of news. 1 is a little sad, though ok, the other is another happy introduction to another Life Book Teacher.

Sadly, due to personal circumstances and being all together too caught up with her own business, family life and other, Goddess Leonie will not be able to take part in Life Book anymore. :( As sad as I am about this, I also really understand her predicament and wish her all the best with all her adventures and endeavours!

This also means other exciting things, such as, I'm now looking for a replacement teacher for her and this is going to be a SURPRISE/ MYSTERY teacher! Who this new teacher will be, will be announced in the next 3 months. Bonnie Rose will be replacing Leonie's spot for the first month of January (she's very suited for the Goddess theme and a highly skilled painter, artist and teacher, so I'm super happy about this!) And the new mystery teacher will be allocated to another month later in the year! :) So, though I'm sad about Leonie not joining us, I'm also excited about the new possibilities! :D

2. Now: time for another Life Book Teacher introduction! Today, I shall be letting you know all about the talented Guadalupe Brizuela Cabal! Hailing from Argentina, Guada produces amazing Mandalas. She is less so known in the English-speaking art world, but a very well-respected mandala teacher in the Spanish-speaking art world! She has a spiritual and healing approach to life, and has found that she can invoke a calming and healing meditative state of mind through the creation of her colourful mandalas.

What I love about her work

I myself have dabbled in creating some mandalas here and there, but I've never gone into great depth with them. Though I truly love what they represent and the healing and calming effects they have. So I am extra excited to have Guada on board, because not only does she produce the most mesmerising mandalas (look at the beautiful shading and colours she uses!) but she is also very skilled in explaining step by step how to go about making these beauties.

I really enjoy the precise geometry in her mandalas, they have such a 'perfect' quality. I love the attention to detail she gives every single mandala she creates.

What I love about Guadalupe

Dedicated, persistent, perceptive and kind, are just a few words that come up for me when I think of Guada. Also: adorable. :) She is often worried and nervous about her English, as she is a Spanish speaker, but I'm always impressed with how well her English is!

I haven't known her for that long, but since we've been communicating she's been lovely, caring and considerate in all her communication. I've also seen her lessons in action and I enjoy her on the screen and how she teaches. :)

I'm super happy that Guada, too will be part of Life Book as she'll really add to it with her special take on how to design your own, beautiful and healing Mandala! :)

She too is holding a GIVE AWAY ON HER BLOG! So go check it out and enter her give away if you want to win a space on Life Book!

**********************************

Just so you know:
If you join Life Book, you will also -periodically- be given high quality jpeg images of uplifting digital art which you can print out and hang up on your 'Rainbow Pin Board'.
Just another extra perk for Life Book members! :)

One of the uplifting images you'll be able to print out and hang up is this one:

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT LIFE BOOK BY CLICKY HERE

Inspiration Station: Wyanne - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-09-28T17:16:00.000+01:00

Boomshackalack!

Have you noticed it's full moon day? I have - bits of chaos flying at me from quite a few sides of the universe, but did I cower and hide? Nooo, like a [mighty pregnant] superhero woman, I put on my blue and red cape and warded off the meteorites and alien attacks with rainbow cakes and banana muffins, wait, what? Nevermind. Chaos was truly dealt with in a most eloquent way (though I am now worried the baby might come out looking like a chocolate bar - uhm). ;)

Aloha my art friends. Registration for Life Book is only days away and I'm excited to introduce you to another Life Book Teacher, namely, the uber super awesome: Wyanne!

I know, just reading her name makes you excited right? Many of you will be familiar with her whimsical, slightly retro, colourful, funtastic work!

Also, her art videos on youtube have reached and inspired many! I came across Wyanne quite a few years ago and instantly fell in love with her work and her videos could entertain me for hours!

What I love about her work

Well, of course, I'm a big lover of the whimsies, and Wyanne's art can't get more whimsy or quirky. Look at those awesome pipi longstocking socks the girl on the right is wearing! It's those kinds of details that leave me tickled pink.

Her design, composition, use of colours all inspire me. The topics and themes of her paintings, like friendship, connection, dreaming etc often completely touch me and draw me in.

I love her use of mixed media techniques, she uses a wide variety of materials, from alcohol to inks to collage papers, you name it, she'll use it!

Her art has a magical whimsy quality that makes me instantly happy! :)

What I love about Wyanne

I can see a trend coming up in the people I enjoy working with, they all possess qualities of kindness and authenticity! :-) Wyanne fits the group perfectly having similar qualities. She's open and willing to collaborate and share with you. She is genuine and honest about what goes on for her. She's connects with people in lovely ways on her blog and creates the most wonderful art videos where in you really feel you connect with parts of *her* through her art and video. She is also thoughtful about life and introspective, sometimes a bit of a dreamer at other times: a serious thinker, if I gauge correctly :). I appreciate people thinking about life and 'what it all means' and she is one of those.

I am super proud and happy that she too will be contributing to Life Book!

Aaaaaand, she too is holding a give away!! With 4 prizes! One of which is a place on Life Book! :D Woop woop!

She also did an awesome little video about Life Book and her up and coming class. To see the video and to enter in her give away make sure to visit her blog HERE.

I hope you are all well lovely people. I appreciate all your support and lovely comments about Life Book that I'm reading on all the blogs. :D

***************

Want to find out more about Life Book?

Hit that clicky linkie mah dudes and dudettes

Inspiration Station: Effy Wild - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-09-27T17:24:00.000+01:00

Yo groovy art gang! :-)

Though dear Dylan woke up at 5am this morning and I got little sleep with the whole 'have to pee every 30 minutes or so' thing, I feel pretty good and awake today. Ha. Been working hard on the Life Book Promo Video (which I always love doing, but it takes for - ev - ah).

Oh, wanna see how freaking pregnant I am? Brace yourself:

Yeah, see that enlarged basketball there? It's heavy. Makes it impossible to walk (I now roll places), breathe or do anything other than eating chocolate biscuits, wait, what? Nevermind. ;)

So, taking a break from that (from promo video, not chocolate biscuit eating or pregnancy), I can now introduce you to another fabuloustastic Life Book Teacher and human being extraordinaire; the glorious, raw, beautiful and wild Effy! :-)

Passionate, kind, fierce, searching and growing. Effy inspires the heck out of me with her approach to life. Hailing from Canada, she is a community leader, artist, writer (she has a brilliant way with words) and is a survivor. A strong, beautiful, example of a woman who's gone through some tough stuff, but came through it wiser and more empowered.

She uses her art journal for expression and healing purposes. She enjoys bringing the mystical side of life into her art and process which gives her art that much more depth.

She runs her own ning community with her 'Spiritual Creatives' over at: http://wildprecious.com/studio

What I love about her work

Like no other, Effy's work is a true extension and raw expression of herself. She is thoughtful, willing to be open, willing to challenge, and so is her work. What you see and get in Effy is what you see and get in her work. It is an honest representation of her inner world which then invites you to be open and honest too.

Primarily a journal artist, Effy combines a variety of mixed media techniques to send a message, often about what is up for her, but also, to reach out to you.

I also enjoy her use of colour and composition. :)

What I love about Effy

I kind of already described what I love about Effy, but let me say it again: I admire her strength, resilience, willingness to be raw and open, grow, be beautiful and vulnerable. She has a kind and giving heart and is incredibly eloquent with words and self expression.

I love that she'll be part of Life Book as she'll add exactly a kind of spark that you'll love too! :)

Oh and hang on, she too is holding a GIVE AWAAAAAY! :)) Yup yet another give away people! Woah! :)

To enter the give away, go here: http://wildprecious.com/blog/2011/09/26/lifebook-news-and-fantabulous-giveaway/

******************************************

Want to learn more about Life Book?

CLICKITY CLACK

Inspiration Station: Juliette Crane - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-09-25T14:18:00.000+01:00

Aloha lovely reader.

I hope you are enjoying your Sunday! Mine was fun with a morning 'off' and I was able to do some 'messy art' for myself! Yay.

Todays' post is all about the lovely Juliette Crane, another one of the awesome Life Book Teachers!

Juliette is one of those people with a zest for life! Visit her blog and you'll see how she appreciates all facets of life. In addition to being a brilliant artist, she is also an avid photographer, she often posts daily photographs of her surroundings and life experiences.

I simply love her quirky, whimsical paintings, have a peek below, you'll see what I mean! :)

What I love about Juliette's work

In addition to her paintings having that really sweet whimsical style, there is a touch of sparkle and magic there which really draws me in. She loves creating paintings with animal creatures, such as owls, lions and elephants. Little whimsy girls are often a topic too and all her characters capture that beautiful magical spark. Like you're walking into a world of wonder and mystery.

I also enjoy her layered approach to painting, she sometimes posts progress shots on her blog and I always thoroughly enjoy following her process!

What I love about Juliette

Her love for life, her passion for her art and her joyful approach are a few things that stand out for me when I think of Juliette. I don't know her that well, but I get a general light and happy vibe from here whenever I communicate with her or visit her blog.

I can't wait to join her lesson for Life Book and I'm super proud and happy that she'll be one of the guest teachers!

She too is doing a GIVE AWAY on her blog! Come check it out HERE, if you want a chance to win! :)

Find out more about Life Book by clicking HERE

Inspiration Station: Adriana Almanza - Introducing Life Book Teachers

2011-09-24T16:02:00.000+01:00

Duuuudes, I'm *even* finding time on a Saturday to do a blog post! Impressive no? Well, Dylbee is asleep, so I have some time to introduce you to another wonderful artist. Many will have heard of her before, yes yes, it's the talented and giving Adriana Almanza!

With her remarkably beautiful looking 'big-eyed' dollies (as she calls them) Ady is an inspiring force in the mixed media art community. Originally from Mexico but now living in Germany, she runs her own ning network and classes in which she teaches how to approach creating a paintings like hers.

What I love about her work

Gosh, her girlies have such a mesmerising, beautiful quality about them. Ady's skill when it comes to shading and adding depth to her portraits is fantastic. Each girl has soul and beauty. I can be endlessly fascinated with the details in her paintings, from hair strands to the subtle detailed highlights in their eyes; it's all so beautiful applied with a sense of dedication.

You can just 'feel' the love that Ady puts into these girls. Each one has their own personality and a special message to send you. I love that I can recognise Ady's style anywhere, it's a very well developed style.

Her less whimsical girls that look more realistic and less big-eyed, have a beautiful sassiness about them as well.

Ady has both a way with colour and can produce really beautiful black and white pieces as well.

What I love about Ady

Ady has an open, giving and generous quality about her. Whenever I communicate with her, there is nothing but openness and kindness present. She appears willing, joyful and kind. She has an incredible passion for art and painting which - if you follow her on FB - you'll know as there is a new painting in her journal or on her easel almost every day! I'm so happy she'll be part of Life Book!

And she too is doing a GIVE AWAY! Click HERE, to win one of her prizes on offer! :)

Do you want to find out more about Lifebook?

Click on this image:

Inspiration Station: Bonnie Rose Bryan - Introducing Life Book Teachers

2011-09-23T16:13:00.000+01:00

Wooooooop woop, it is I again! :D

Aaaand today I'm gonna talk about the fairy being that is Bonnie Rose Bryan!

This is me and Bonnie and Iris, we met up a couple of weeks ago! Hee! It was so much fun!

I first got to know Bonnie Rose in the early days when many of us were just starting up ning networks (Gary Reef was one of them and Bonnie Rose was an admin on his site for a while). That's when I first noticed her gentle spirit. Gentle, full of genuine care, glitter and kindness. And you know me and kindness: I am like a magnet to it! :)

I can't remember how it came about exactly, but some time later, she offered to run a 'whimsical watercolour' workshop on my ning and she became an enthusiastic administrator on my site. We've been buddies ever since! :D

Watercolour paints being her staple, she predominantly likes creating whimsical fairy paintings but also does portraits, paints mugs of coffee and cute little animal creatures amongst other topics!

What I love about Bonnie's work

I admire both Bonnie's technical skills as well as the moods she conveys in her beautiful paintings. The fairy/ mystic/ magical realm comes with a twilight sort of atmosphere and she conveys that so well in her pieces. The people/ characters she paints come with a personality and sometimes a 'broodiness', and you wonder what would happen should you open the door to their souls. :)

I'm also very drawn to her "cute" paintings (I own one of her paintings with a little drummer bunny in it, it's adorable!). There is so much play, fun and innocence in her cute paintings! She took part in one of our ATC swaps (and I was her lucky partner) in which she created 2 'cute little houses', my oh my, they are cute. This type of art, just reaches the innocence and playfulness in me.

Her portraits, are otherworldly with so much attention to detail:

And there is another style she does well, which I'm not sure if this contains some acrylics and/or crayons as well, but it's more mixed media messy which, that too, she does so well! (Or maybe it's a dryer way of using watercolours?) Not sure. Anyhow, I love the style!

What I love about Bonnie

Well, first up: she is made of stardust, and you know them stardust type creatures, can't not love them, can you? ;) But more seriously; she too is deeply compassionate, kind, caring. I often receive a lovely little handmade card by her in the mail, just out of the blue for no reason whatsoever other than her wanting to bring a bit more love and sparkle in the world. She also hand knitted me fingerless gloves and knitted giraffe hats for Dylan and babe nr 2! Now, I know it's not all about the material stuff, but it just illustrates a kind of selflessness in Bonnie that I admire and love - a lot.

She sparkles, she glitters and is allround just lovely and kind. :)

I'm SO happy she's going to be part of Life Book! You'll learn a lot from her awesome skills!

She's currently not scheduled a give away yet, but there might well be one coming up, so keep checking out her blog over here: http://bonnierosebryan.blogspot.com/

You can now download an introduction/ information PDF pack to Life Book - it contains the full yearly class schedule as well!! Click on this image to download the PDF:

Inspiration Station: Jodi Ohl - Life Book Teacher Introductions!

2011-09-22T16:14:00.000+01:00

Ola beautifuls!

It's me again. And I'm back with another introduction to another fantabulous LB Teacher, it is the effervescent: Jodi Ohl.

Jodi, published in many a magazine and book, has this alluring style of whimsy mixed with grungy mixed with sweetness. :) She is about to embark on a new journey which is taking her into being an artist full time! (This week is her last day at work, she's about to take the big plunge into a bottle of purple paint, I'm sure! ;)).

From cute little owls, to cupcakes, to little adorable houses, to colourful flowers in quirky compositions, Jodi's art has a way to make you smile, and free you up on the inside and connect with the lighter and brighter things in life! :) I look at her art and can't help but grin.

What I love about her work

I kind of hinted at it already, but Jodi's work has a way of making me smile and connect with a moment of lightness. Happy is the word I should use, yes happy. Jodi's art = happy art. But, it's not just happy, because again: mixed media layering, 'grunge' and distressed effects add that extra bit to her happy happy paintings. The mixed media 'styling' of her paintings add the depth to the joyful side of her quirky whimsy themed paintings. Also: her colour choices do really draw me in. Vivid, bright and attractive; it's all there!

What I love about Jodi

From what I glean from Jodi's life, she has a brave heart and is a really dedicated mother with 2 awesome little boys (we'll be in the same boat soon, both with 2 boys!) Brave, because of taking the plunge into the bottle of purple paint (leaving her full time job at a bank) and I follow her on FB and read about her artistic and family life in which she comes across as a loving, caring mother as well as person. I'm also enjoying her passion for art, her enthusiasm for the Life Book project and her willingness and openness to collaborate with other artists.

And guess what? She too is doing A HUGE GIVE AWAY ON HER BLOG RIGHT NOW!

Click HERE, if you want to win a spot on Life Book or one of her original paintings!

I'm very excited about having Jodi take part in teaching on Life Book, I'm sure you'll enjoy her lesson(s) too! :)

More tomorrow groovy people!

with Love

Tam xoxo

Oh, don't forget, this ->

Inspiration Station: Connie Hozvicka - another Life Book Teacher!

2011-09-21T16:54:00.002+01:00

Hey groovy art gang!

Are you impressed with my daily bloggings? I am. I usually only manage one blogging a week, if that! :) So, here I am with another super awesome Life Book Teacher to introduce to you!

Today, it's the wonderful Connie Hozvicka (from www.dirtyfootprints-studio.com) who many of you may already be familiar with! Creator of 21 Secrets, yogini extraordinaire, Total Alignment artist painter and now soon a mama to be! (yesss, how exciting is that?!). :)

I am not sure when I first came across this lovely human being, but I got to know her a lot better when I was invited to teach over at 21 Secrets. Yet another one of those fabulous human beings who are trying to live by their true inner nature (or creative source as she calls it). Authentic, true to herself, searcher and spiritual adventurer. Connie is one of those fascinating people who through her art and spiritual journeys continue to inspire and encourage you to find yourself within yourself and your art.

What I love about Connie's Art

In one word: freedom.

Her art, to me, speaks of freedom. It's visible in the brush strokes, in the expressive colours, in the swirls, in the meditative application of paint. Freedom and expression.

And she is so clear about this herself: she is outing her inner parts, her truthful most inner parts and pours them into the paintings. I don't know how not to love that. The intention is to touch, connect with and express 'creative source' and well, I can see that in her paintings.

What I love about Connie

She too, is kind. Authentic and kind people touch me at my core. She's one of those. I've had many email communications with her over the year and all are written with a sense of care, consideration and compassion. Kindness and compassion wins me over in a heartbeat.

I also absolutely love how she continually evaluates her own approach to life, how she responds to events, how she is a true example of someone who never stops developing herself and someone who will look the hurdles of life in the eye and then says: "ok, I accept, let me see what I can learn from this". I have goosebumps writing this! :)

Above all: she is true. True to herself, true to her aspirations, to her 'creative source'. That, I love and admire a lot. :)

Learn more about Connie here: www.dirtyfootprints-studio.com - as she's currently going through the first phases of pregnancy she's not feeling too well, but I know that she too will likely at some point be holding a give away! So keep checking back on her blog. :-)

I am so happy she'll be part of Life Book! I am sure you too will love her lesson!

Have a lovely day all! Tomorrow another LB Teacher to be introduced! :) xoxoox Tam

If you want to find out more about Life Book which goes on sale 3rd October, CLICKY HERE.

Muffin Hugs

Inspiration Station: Rhomany - Introducing Life Book Teachers

2011-09-20T15:59:00.000+01:00

Hello again! :)

Today I want to introduce you to another Life Book Teacher, the awesome Rhomany from Rhomany's Realm.

Rhomany was one of the first people to be actively involved on my ning site (willowing.ning.com) when I first set it up. She was supportive, enthusiastic and incredibly helpful allround. I remember thinking that this girl was a fountain of information. Have a question about a particular art material? Rho will know the answer. Want to find out about how to best print your art work, Rho will know. Want to know anything IT related, Rho will point you in the right direction! :) She is one of those people you can rely on to help you with a smile on her face!

With a background in teaching both art and IT, having someone as willing to help and as knowledgeable as Rho around is extremely comforting and uplifting. No wonder she became an administrator on my ning site pretty soon after she became a member! :)

What I love about her work

Rho is an avid journaler and mixed media artist with an ever-evolving range of styles (her words!) She also makes her own journals (and teaches how you can do it too!) and she is the creator of the cute little 'Rosie & Marmalade' illustrations as well!

As I've always been drawn to children's illustrations and the whimsy/ cute style, I love some of her whimsy paintings. I even purchased one of her prints which I still adore!

I also enjoy her attention to detail. For instance in the piece: 'Not all who wander are lost', it feels like every part of the gypsy girl has been given the same amount of attention as any other part. Which to me always makes a painting feel loved and cared for and makes it whole.

Rhomany also has a way with lettering, words and handwriting in her journals. I am always fascinated with what type of lettering she'll use or how she places the words in relation to other elements in her art journal.

What I love about Rhomany

I kind of already hinted at many of Rho's positive qualities in earlier paragraphs, but let me reiterate that what I love about Rho is how she is incredibly clear and concise she is when she teaches (I took her Coptic Binding Course and thoroughly enjoyed it ending up with my own beautiful art journal!) and she has also been a very reliable person and always willing to help.

When it comes to expressing herself she is also really clear and authentic, she's not one to mince her words! :) All in all: I'm so happy she'll be part of Life Book and I'm sure you'll love her contributions too! :)

Ooooh, she too is doing a GIVE AWAY! Go check it out HERE to win a spot on Life Book and watch her video about the course! :)

Hope you enjoyed another introduction lovely people, another one will be here tomorrow! :)

Banana cake snug hugs. :)

Tam xoxox

Want to find out more about Life Book?

Clickity Clack Here

*kiss kiss*

Inspiration Station: Jane DesRosier - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

2011-09-19T00:00:00.000+01:00

Aloha beautiful peoples!

Over the next two weeks I'll be introducing to you the wonderful teachers who'll be teaching on Life Book - 2012!

This because 1: they inspire me a lot and 2: I'd love for you to get to know them a bit better and learn why I thought they'd be the perfect addition to this year long project! I hope you'll enjoy my "Inspiration Station - Series" in which I'll be introducing you to some awesome artists! :)

So, this first blog post is all about the lovely and crazy talented: Jane DesRosier, also known as, Gritty Jane! :)

I first came across Jane's work 3 or 4 years ago, when I was google searching 'handmade dolls'. Some of you know that I've dabbled a little in doll making and my interest in dolls started a few years ago.

I came across one of her dolls and her doll making workshop and loved what I saw then but didn't have the time to join her class. Then, when I couldn't reign in my doll-making itching any longer, I simply had to sign up and took her class on doll making which I enjoyed thoroughly.

It was at this point too when I started following her blog and became enthralled by her mixed media paintings!

What I love about her paintings/ collage work

Often aiming for a 'distressed & aged look' in both her dolls and paintings, her work has a timelessness that I can't put my finger on.

Many of her paintings could belong in "older" times, yet I can still see them being admired in museums in years to come.

She mainly paints the human form and there is a poignancy and intensity about each portrait/ person that pulls me in. These are not just portraits, these are people, with stories, lives and you want to learn more about them.

Though they come across as sometimes 'ordinary' people, you simply cannot escape that these people are all important, relevant. That, as simple a life they may live or have lived, they are as significant as any other human being.

I love this about her paintings, that they make human beings important, relevant, significant.

Technique wise, her paintings have this awesome, coveted and sought after distressed/ aged/ grunge look that many of us mixed media artists really love to achieve but often find elusive.

Using collage and layering, she manages to achieve a beautiful depth. Her choice of color too creates a particular atmosphere that I personally find very pleasing to the eye!

All in all: I love Jane's work, I can look at one of her paintings for hours and still find new details that inspire or surprise me!

What I love about Jane

I don't know Jane very well on a personal level, but from my interaction with her so far, I have found her caring, compassionate, considerate and giving. There is kindness there and honesty. I always feel most relaxed around people who are authentic. Authenticity in other people allows me to be my own authentic self and this is a quality I think I'm sensing in Jane. I'm also so tickled by her enthusiasm and gusto for the Life Book project, it simply makes me smile each time I think about it! :)

I am SO pleased and proud that she'll be part of Life Book 2012. I myself have already thoroughly enjoyed learning from her in the doll making class and I'm sure that you will all love her lesson(s) for Life Book as well! :)

She's also holding a GIVE AWAY on her blog as we speak in which she's giving away 1 place on Life Book and one of her original paintings! Make sure to check it out HERE, if you want to enter her draw!

Registration for this EPIC course will start in 2 weeks time! (3rd October)

Want to learn more about it?

Clickity Clack here:

http://www.willowing.org/lifebook.html

Love these: Derwent Inktense Pencils - A Review

2011-09-06T12:53:00.000+01:00

So, I bought a set of 24 Derwent Inktense Pencils the other week and hadn't had a chance to use them yet until a couple of days ago. I actually own another set of theirs, also Inktense but the colours are all dark earthy tones while this set was filled with beautiful vibrant colours (oh the joy!). I've always loved the other ones (the earthy ones) before, but used them more to shade and as background colours, so I never really gave them that much attention. Now, these new ones are meant for the spotlight baby! Let me tell you about them!

Creamy, vibrant, lush and pretty, are just a few words I'd use to sum up the effect of the Inktense Derwents! I was surprised by how truly 'inky' they became once I added water to my shaded bits with them. And the colour is crazy vibrant! Other watercolour pencils I've used in the past by Caran D'ache and Staedler are good too (particularly the kids' ones by Staedler -> also vibrant and creamy), but I will say that the Derwents surpass them both in quality and vibrancy. I just kept wanting to add more and more (which might be the *only* downside to them, ha ha, as wanting to add more and more can mess with your design etc).

I've also come to wonder, if they have called them "Inktense" implying a merging of the words Ink and Intense? Ie: the watercolour crayons when diluted come across as ink (truly!) and the colour is super intense (truly)! Great and appropriate name for these awesome pencils! Maybe I'm a bit 'doh' to grasp the play on words only now, but hey, I do have fog brain due to pregnancy, so do forgive a tired and worn out Tam! ;)

In any case. I highly recommend these pencils! I've loved working with them and will use them a lot more now. They will also feature prominently in my next course Life Book!
You can buy your own Derwent Inktense Pencils by visiting www.dickblick.com! :)

PS. Don't forget to keep an eye out for Life Book! - Registration opens on 3rd October! :D

Life Book - more info and payment plans

2011-08-31T12:13:00.000+01:00

Hi guys! I've had such an amazing response to introducing Life Book already! I'm so pleased to hear that many of you are SO excited about it! :) (As am I)!! :-)

I just want to clear a few bits up, particularly about payment plans about which I received a lot of questions.

Before I go into the payment plans though, I just want to point out that those who are concerned about budget and paying $99 for the course, that though it may seem like a lot of money, please realise that that amount of money gets you a whole year of mixed media lessons (a minimum of 24 lessons) + 1 other of my courses (which is another miminimum of approx 6 lessons AND all the extras of artist interviews, art journal prompts, extra PDFs to inspire you etc etc.

So while $99 might seem like a lot of money, in fact, the lessons turn out to be approx ONLY $3 per lesson and that doesn't even account for all the extras you get.

So, I do totally understand that $99 seems like a lot of money, but if you spread it out over the year and see it as an invaluable investment in a wealth of information spread out over the year, not to mention all the artsy connections you will make on the course, it ends up very cheap!

All that said, I do know that parting with $99 at once, isn't always easy for people, so I will be making installment payment plans available. Doing this though, will cause a lot more administrative work for me, so the installment amounts will be a bit higher than if you paid in one go.

So, while the one off payment will be $99 (or $129 or $149), the installment payment plan will charge you: $37.50 every 4 months (so 3 times) from the moment you sign up (as long as sign up happens between October 3rd 2011 and 1st May 2012).

If you sign up after 1st May 2012 you will be able to pay in 2 installments of $56.25, and if you sign up after 1st September it will not be possible to pay in installments as then there are only 4 months left on the course, so the payment plan will then revert back to the one off payment of $99.

Note:

There will only be payment plans available for the basic package (not for the other two).

I will also make a [limited] very low payment plan available, for those with more financial trouble. This might be something like $13 a month or something along those lines but still need to think about this. This plan will only be available to about 10-15 people who fit the profile, as again: it adds massive administration work on my part.

Installments will be set up through paypal and automatically be taken out of your account every 4 months (or 1 month if you're on the 1 month plan).

In order to stay true to my affiliates, you will need to go through 2 steps when setting up your installment payment plan. You will initially have to buy a "token sign up" for 0.5 cents through ejunkie and then set up your actual proper subscription payment through paypal. This way I can keep track of where you 'came from' and that way I can award the appropriate affiliate fee to the guest teachers (should you have come through one of their links). If this is confusing, don't worry too much about it, just know there are two steps to the sign up process for installment payment plans.

Hope this helps clear up some questions about the plans!! If you have any more questions, pls do not hesitate to ask me.

I hope you will join us! It's going to be awesome working together with these incredible teachers, making art, connecting, growing and developing for A WHOLE YEAR!!

So, come join us (Wyanne, Jane Davenport, Mystele, Rhomany, Samantha Kira, Connie Hozvicka, Gritty Jane (Jane DesRosier), Adriana Almanza, Goddess Leonie, Jodi Ohl, Bonnie Rose Bryan, Guadalupe Cabal, Effy Wild, Juliette Crane, and MEEEEEE :)))!

Registration opens on October 3rd!

Classes begin 1st of Jan 2012!

Big hugs! :-)

PS. don't forget this ->>>>>

Gratitude

2011-08-25T09:30:00.000+01:00

So yesterday was a sort of weepy, shaky, pregnancy hormone filled kind of day. The kind of day where small things make you cry and you have a generally fearful feeling in the pit of your stomach. Know what I mean?

And big things, well, they did more than make me cry. Sometimes, I fill up with so much despair listening to the suffering in the world, it's hard to breathe.

And then I'm reminded of Byron Katie's wise words who says: 'this is not your suffering, don't add to the suffering of the world by suffering something that isn't yours to suffer'.

I'm not always able to follow that advice and I think there is something valuable in expressing the sadness I feel when others go through a terrible ordeal, but Katie's approach also helps me ground and send out positive stuff, compassion and love, and 'being in the now-ness' rather than just adding suffering to the suffering that is already there.

And the other day, Andy and I received some news which would mean a financial change for us (negatively) which stressed me out for a little while until I caught this bit of information on the radio:

"People in Haiti are bracing for a hurricane while many people are still living in make-shift houses after the earthquake."

And that just kicked my whole view on life into perspective again. Why am I worried about a small change in finances while I have a beautiful roof over my head, a beautiful family who are healthy and happy. I eat good food every day. I am expecting a new little baby, I do the work that I love etc etc. I have a thousand million blessings. I live an incredibly privileged life. And while I am not downplaying or devaluing the pains and sorrows that can occur in a privileged life, remembering how amazing my life is compared to many many people on earth, helps me find gratitude again. It helps me regain a little perspective when I get too mopey.

And coincidentally, my latest painting is called: 'Gratitude' which is so fitting.

I did a video of how I made this painting too:

If you want to join in on the challenge, you can post your work HERE.

Here are some more detail shots of the painting.

BUY THIS PAINTING HERE

And we celebrated Dylbee's 2 year birthday which was wonderful! The weather was beautiful and just the right amount of lovely people and kiddos came. Here some picsies:

Babies, toddlers, "grown ups" & a biiiiig mess! ;)

Dylan & George and Lila in the background

Dylan and George

Mmmh cake!

Dylbee and mummy's cool tattoo in the garden

Yayyyy! Dylan was given a broom as a bday gift, he loved it!

He worships this water/ sand table!

Bath time after a full day of fun

And the mummy, 27/28 weeks preggo with nr 2. :)

In the mean time, I am working hard on Life Book! Registration will open on October 3rd.

For more information GO HAVE A READ HERE.

Huggas and banana cakes. x

Happy Birthday Dear Dylan

2011-08-17T16:44:00.000+01:00

Dearest Dylan, my Dylbee booshki boo.

We're about 9 days away from your 2^nd birthday and I've been preparing this letter to you in my head for the last month or so. Recounting everything that has happened is this 2^nd whirlwind of a year. A year in which you have reached many milestones and you have leaped (literally and figuratively) into all sorts of new territories!

Where do I start? When I last wrote to you, you were on the verge of becoming a confident walker. I think it was by month 13/ 14 that you became pretty confident with your steps. With this came a lot of joy, but also a lot of fear on our part. Your new skill meant there was a lot more scope for bumps and bruises, and boy, did you get quite a few of those this year! At some point, a bit later in your second year, your daddy jokingly commented on us 'getting a yearly pass to the 'Accident & Emergency' department. Yes, you visited it a lot! Luckily, so far in your life, there hasn't been a major serious incident (touch wood touch wood touch wood), but you really did know how to scare us! From falling off a slide to having a lamp fall on your head and having your eardrum perforated, you've done it all! Oh, let me not forget to tell about the time that you fell face down into a very shallow pond! Again, you were fine, but we were both in shock for a few hours!

Back to your newfound skills: with the walking also came more dexterity, more consciousness and more understanding of the things around you. It is such a joy for your daddy and me to see you discover, develop and grow into an actual little boy! Sometimes, I look at you, take in the healthy glow of your hair, your round little cheeks, your cheeky beautiful grin and you might utter something funny like 'ciauw' (which is your word for 'cat' – you merged 'miauw' and 'cat' together) and I get so overwhelmed and overcome by love, I could cry.

By about month 16 you finally got the hang of sleeping through the night. Before then we went through many a sleepless night with you, often driving your daddy and me to the point of despair, but as you can see we managed and you survived! ;)

More awareness and independence also came with free will! You often had other ideas about what to do, where to go, where to sit, what to eat than we did! And that wasn't easy at all for us! We really had to work with you to get things done. For instance, putting on t-shirts wasn't something you were always agreeable to unless the t-shirt suddenly started to speak to you and asked you to be his friend or if he could have a hug. Yes, your parents had to be ever so inventive and talented to get you to cooperate with certain activities. Nappy change often involves the iPhone, toys, your dad pulling funny faces or me singing to you! :-) We've come to a point where embarrassing ourselves just to have a cooperative, peaceful and calm nappy change experience is not an issue at all. If I have to go naked to get peace, I'll do it! ;P

Now, about all your adorable, cute, hilarious and downright delicious traits. As off late, you've come to understand that holding two 'thumbs up' can make even the most depressed person smile at you, so you happily throw your thumbs up at anyone and everyone you meet! This makes my head explode sometimes, it's so cute. You also have an incredible capacity for empathy (of this we are incredibly proud and we are also a bit surprised as according to 'the books' this level of empathy is meant to kick in quite a bit later)! As an example of your capacity for empathy: I was having a back ache and lying on the couch and made a move that hurt me, so I screamed out in pain. You saw me, pointed at me, then signed the sign for pain and came to lie with me for about 5 minutes to comfort me. I think you were about 20 months old at that point. Incredible eh! Also, you're not just empathic when it comes to people in pain, you also like to join in on or encourage other's people's fun. For instance, you will often look at another child going down the slide and shout 'wheeeeee' on their behalf. Like you're really enjoying the fact that they (not you) are having fun. You don't seem jealous, or focused on having what someone else has. You like it when other people are happy, which warms my heart so much.

At this point you are also not possessive of toys or other objects, you share freely and often don't want to eat until you've 'fed' food to all the other members in the household including many of the stuffed toys. Though you are only 2 and often have to choose your own needs over other people's needs (because you don't know how to possibly do it differently yet), there is a selflessness and a sweetness about you I don't often encounter in other children. That said, I am your mother so I am utterly biased of course! ;)

Let me tell you more sweet things about you. You love giving kisses and hugs. And there was one evening a month or 2 ago where I was lying on the couch and you decided that I needed a lot, A LOT of kisses. So, you'd climb on the couch, kiss my face a few times, leave, play with something, come back to me and give me more kisses. This went on for about 30 minutes. I don't think I've ever felt more loved and cared for! (Of course I have also felt AS loved by your daddy, but that is another story! :)). I will remember 'the evening of kisses' for a very long time as it was such a special and again seemingly caring and selfless sort of activity on your part. Thank you for that sweet angel.

Now, this year, many of your teeth came through! You now have your 4 lower and upper front teeth, 4 molars and almost all your canines are through! We're waiting for another 4 molars though I'm not looking forward to them because you do become terribly grumpy during teething time (understandably so, don't get me wrong!).

This year also saw you receive your very first bike (ok, three-wheeler) which you love and we also went camping with you for the first time which was super fun for you! Other 'firsters' are: your first experience of snow! Wooh! Your ability to eat with a spoon by yourself! You became a master at sign language. And you started talking albeit it slowly! Your speech has only really come on a lot more in the last month or so! At this point, you can say the following words pretty clearly: horse, doggy, piggy, owl, bike, daddy, mummy, opa (meaning grandpa in Dutch), beans, bar, car, cow, birdies, row row (for boat), shoes, juice, bye bye and I'm sure there are more words I'm forgetting.

You still do a lot of signing too, so the two in combination make you a pretty good communicator although there are many times when you get very frustrated as not all communication between us works smoothly yet, but we're getting there!

Lately you've become really interested in 'Lalaas'. Lalaas' is your chosen term for girls between the age of 4 and 9. No matter which lalaa it is, you follow them around and just want to spend all your time with them! We have no clue why you like them so much or why you call them lalaas, but we think it's adorable!

You also absolutely LOVE anything water-related: jumping in it, splashing with it, throwing it around in a mug, you name it. So bath time is something you thoroughly enjoy!

Our bedtime routine is a time of day I really enjoy as I get to read stories to you ('The Great Monster Hunt' and 'Dinosaurs Love Underpants' are a current favourite) and lie about with you making funny videos of ourselves. You love watching videos of yourself back. It can entertain you endlessly (to our great relief, because when we need a bit of quiet time, we simply shove the iPhone in your face and yay, you're quiet for a bit!). Back to the bedtime routine. By far one of the most tender and loving moments is the moment right after 'boobie milk' and I say: 'shall I blow on your tummy?' And you say 'yes', pull your t-shirt up and then in the pale light of the moon, I blow on your tummy softly and you get the biggest grin on your face. There, that moment, is enough for me to have lived. To experience that tenderness and sweetness in life is such a joy and I often get tears in my eyes when I do it.

Ok, you are trying hard, at the moment, to say all sorts of things. And as I mentioned above, you say many words with great success! Others a little less successful. One of them being your own name. Currently you call yourself “Dabaah”. You're very clear that “Dabaah” is you, because usually, when you say it, you point at yourself. Sweet no? Other words that you've almost got down are: 'sheep' (you say: 'shiip', 'more' you say 'ooore', 'turtle' you say 'dudhle', 'bear' you say: 'doaw', 'there' is 'da' and for mouse you say 'mass'). There are quite a few more fantastic sounds and words you use for things, but I think I might be forgetting them now!

One of your favourite activities at the moment is 'jumping'. You love jumping from the couch to the chair to the footstool. For a while we tried to stop you thinking it could get you killed (and it probably can), but it was simply impossible to stop you unless we tied you down and now you are like an insanely talented jumper! Physically you are generally very skilled, you walk well up and down hills without toppling over, you run well and like I said: jumping is your forte. You also have an excellent sense of balance! Of course, you do still have accidents, and when you do bump into something you get quite angry and 'blame' the item that you bumped into for having 'hurt' you, even if you walked into it. Funny, that once happened with daddy's foot and you were bashing daddy's foot as if it had done you great harm!

When you were about 18 months old, I became pregnant with your brother! (Still am at the moment btw). And we've been trying to introduce the idea of a baby and a brother to you slowly over the months. When we ask you 'Dylan where is the baby?', you come up to my tummy and give it a little poke most of the time. Sometimes, you seem to think that you too have a baby in your tummy! When you grow up you'll learn that that is near impossible. You are again simply adorable when I ask you if you want to give a kiss to the baby and you kiss my tummy with gusto plus hug it/ him too!

We're hoping you'll like having a brother, but we understand it may take some getting used to!

Sometimes, when things don't go the way you want them to go, you find it difficult to manage your temper and the moment can get so heated up, it feels like a Greek Drama. You scream and stamp your little legs and when all else fails, you run over to the table and bite hard into the corner rubber thingie (which is there to protect your head from the sharp bit). As much as I understand that you are not happy and deeply frustrated at that point in time, seeing you bite the table with all your might really makes me laugh; it is incredibly funny to see. So sorry, my sweetheart! I do hope that with your developing skill to communicate you will experience less frustration of this kind!

On food. You're a funny one with food. You have days where you eat heaps and heaps of food and on other days you just pick at some raisins. You are particular about your food and mostly you're still only interested in the stuff we buy from the supermarket. This is frustrating for us as we'd love it if you ate some of the food we cooked instead! There was one incident where we went out, bought all the ingredients of your favourite supermarket pouch food and tried to recreate it ourselves. Your daddy possibly spent about 3 hours on preparing it and when we placed the little bowl of food in front of you, you took one look at it and just turned your head! As if to say: “talk to the hand cus I ain't eating this stuff!”. Let's just say that a zen attitude was very needed for both of us at that moment in time.

Foods you do like at the moment are; bananas, oranges, grapes, raisins, goggogs (yogurt), baked beans, cheese (geeee), bread, bars, crisps, milk, juice, water, vegetable bake pouch, salmon and risotto pouch, fish pie pouch, apples, pears, peaches, all sorts of fruit mix pouches, mush carrots, baby biscuits, pineapple and you'll have the odd bits of food mummy and daddy eat.

Oddly, you're not really into things like cake, icecream and chocolate yet! (Luckily)!

You love your daddy and your daddy loves you. Your dad is fantastic at distracting you when you're upset, he is also your favourite dance partner! Whenever music comes on, your little arms fly up into the air and you want nothing less than to bounce up and down in your daddy's arms.

You also love it when he chases you, though it can sometimes scare you too! But I can tell you now that you never have to be scared of your daddy as he is the most gentle, loving, caring, considerate daddy you could ever ask for. You are very lucky to have the daddy that you have!

Ok, I better finish this letter as it's getting very long!

Oh, I also wanted to tell you 2 more things: you are becoming really good at counting! I love, adore, worship how you say 'six', you say 'sisz' instead, you also say 'seven' really well and you can recognise the first 6 letters of the alphabet! (Sort of).

Lastly: you have really amazing pitch when you sing, which keeps surprising me! You can 'hum' the whole tune of 'twinkle twinkle' little star really well! :)

But mostly: you fill our lives with humour, love, joy, surprise and amazement on a daily basis.

Yes, things aren't always easy, you're only 2 after all and learning everything about life, but I wouldn't want my life without you. You are a bright shining light in our lives dear baby boy. Keep on keeping on. Keep growing, developing and loving like you do!

And thank you, for being here, with us.

I will love you forever.

Your mummy

(Mummy made this cheesecake!)

Winners of big mammoth give-away Announced!

2011-08-09T22:03:00.001+01:00

Winners Announced! :)

Congratulations to all winners, please contact me on willowing (at) gmail.com to claim your prizes! Eeeeh!

My love, strength and healing goes out to London and all other affected areas by the riots.

Big hugs!
Tam x

Mercury, gimme a break yeah?!

2011-08-01T11:39:00.000+01:00

Apparently the lovely planet Mercury is in retrograde, and while I'm not a great follower of the planet and stars, it's true that whenever that darn planet does its retrograde thing a lot in my life goes haywire: Things keep going wrong, everything suddenly gets complicated, I become an emotional mess and feel the great urge to hide in a room for a week surrounded by chocolate.

So, I'm in Holland and it's lovely to see everyone, my parents, my brother, old friends. But the first 2-3 nights Dylan decides to break his lovely habit of sleeping 10 hrs straight in favour of waking up every 1-2 hrs. By the 3rd day I was so wrecked that I kept crying whenever someone spoke to me and I wailed at Andy: 'we have to go home, I can't do this! I keep getting RA flare ups, am a complete physical wreck and now I am not getting any sleep either!'

Then I calmed down, looked at baby animals in Amsterdam Zoo (Artis), and felt a tad bit better (though a horrible man screamed at me, he thought I was jumping the queue, which I wasn't, so I cried again!). There were a baby lion, a baby elephant and a baby gorilla in the zoo. Baby animals do make a lot in life better, I think.

Then, I took some practical measures to improve the sleeping situation for Dylan and luckily, last night, he slept like his good old self, though I still kept waking up anyway, but it was a different kind of disturbance then having Dylan need me every 2 hrs.

So, today, I feel more rested, and a bit better, though Mercury keeps f*cking with me. And I'm totally trying to find my inner zen about it all, but at the moment chocolate works better than zen. Or rather: I am able to access chocolate more easily than zen.

Here are some fun pics from being here so far:

Me and my bro:

Me, my bro and the most magical man in the world:

Dylan & Daddy in Artis (Dylan 2 weeks away from being 2 years old!)

Dylbee look at the 'rhaa rhaa' (Lion) he's tiny, you prob can't see him:

Baby lion! (Squee)

Dylan is loving his 'Obaa' (in Dutch: Grandpa = Opa, but he keeps saying: 'Obaa' ha ha). Every morning he wakes up and the first thing he says is: 'Obaa?'. Ha ha. Haven't taken pics of them together yet but will do and will film as well. :)

I've been reading the 'Fallen Series' by Lauren Kate and really liked the 3 books. (It's official, I am a teenager, forever it seems. I like reading Harry Potter, Twilight (sshhh!) and now the Fallen series, all categorised in the 'children's' section. Ha ha.) Oh well. Would it helps if I told you I also downloaded a copy of 'Pride and Prejudice' to my iPhone? There, a bit of Austen sophistication should help! ;) Now, I'm annoyed though as I have to wait until early 2012 for the 4th book in the series. Meh, not happy!

It's funny, how since I downloaded the iBook app to my phone I read about a book a week, it's just so convenient having the books on my phone, I looooove it. I'm a total tech lover that way. Sure, I love real books, the feel of them and all, but it doesn't beat the convenience of having everything nicely packed up in my little iPhone. :) Anyhoo.

Here is some of my latest digital art that I hadn't posted yet (Title: "It's Raining Flowers - Hallelujah"):

So, for the rest of the week I shall continue to meet up with friends, spend time with my family and try like hell to avoid more of the wrath of mercury by hiding my head in chocolate. Love to all! xooxox

Digital Dreams is now available to pre-order on DVD or buy access to the self study group for a lower fee.

Digital Dreams

Now available on Self Study

(DVD available end of August 2011 - pre-order NOW!)

I am now offering 2 options.

PLEASE NOTE: PHOTOSHOP ELEMENTS SUPPORT IS NOT AVAILABLE ON THE SELF STUDY AND DVD EDITION YOU WILL NEED A VERSION OF PHOTOSHOP CS TO TAKE THIS COURSE.

You can either buy a

1. Self study version only (cheaper) and not receive a DVD - (£33 GBP - approx $56 USD)

or

2. Purchase a self study option AND a DVD (£40 GBP - approx $65 USD).

(Please note: The DVDs aren't currently ready yet, but I'll have them available in about 3 weeks time - approx end of August 2011. So you can pre-order the DVD now or just purchase access to the self study group. )

Preparations for the biggest course EVAR have begun. Registration will start in October. Keep watching this space. "Life Book - an honouring and celebration of YOU!" is coming soon to a server near you! :D

And don't forget, if you want to win any of 7 amazing prizes, do leave a comment HERE, or HERE. :)

And remember that I always have special offers on offer for those who want to buy more than 1 of my courses, check them out here.

♥

The Big Massive Give Away is Here! :) Woooooo!

2011-07-21T12:37:00.000+01:00

Willowing.ning.com has recently surpassed the 5000 members mark which I think is a BIG REASON to be happy!! :D And because I'm happy and want to celebrate this momentous occasion with you, I am doing a BIG MASSIVE GIVE AWAY! :D Woop woop!

Sarahjayne was member 5000 and has already won the equivalent of prize number 1! Woohoo! Congratulations Sarahjayne!

What can you win?

Prize 1: Free access to 4 self study groups + 1 place on Life Book - worth $298.00
Prize 2: Free access to 3 self study groups + 1 place on Life Book - worth $252.00
Prize 3: Free access to 2 self study groups + 1 place on Life Book - worth $195.00
Prize 4: Free access to 2 self study groups - worth $96.00
Prize 5: Free access to 1 self study group - worth $56.00
Prize 6: 1 fine art print of choice - worth $25.00
Prize 7: 1 pack of postcards with Tam art - worth $16.00

How can you enter?

1. Put the willowing.ning.com button in your blog sidebar. Simply copy and paste this code in the appropriate html box.

   

2. If you don't know how to add a code to your side bar, write a little blog post about willowing.ning.com - mention the give away or anything else about the site! :)

3. If you don't have a blog, mention this give away or this site on your facebook or twitter.

4. Lastly, leave a comment on this post or in the discussion forum on my ning site: http://willowing.ning.com/forum/topics/the-big-massive-give-away-is-h

I will announce the winners on Monday 8th August - so the give away will be open for a while! :)

Good luck to all who enter and a big THANK YOU to all of my ning members, I appreciate and value you all! :D

Big hugs!
Tam xoxo

Jellyfish Pancake

2011-07-13T22:33:00.001+01:00

'Jellyfish' is one of my favourite words, also 'pancake' and 'la fourchette' is my favourite French word.

I want to call something Jellyfish Pancake but I don't know what and not my second son, no. (Still undecided on that one too btw!).

I'm having one of those 'meh' days today. This pregnancy is so much more typical than Dylan's one. I had a very few proper pregnancy symptoms with Dylan, but with this one, I had actual pregnancy sickness and mood swings (bad ones!), also this baby is SO much more active, he wriggles around a lot.

Anyhow, I've been doing a bit more art journaling lately, I keep wanting to do another art video and also a vlog, but I just can't find the energy for it! I managed to do the below art journal pages. I love how I can really express myself in these pages. It feels cathartic and healing just doing them. :)

Poor Dylbee has been sick for a while with coughs and sneezes and a blocked nose, but I've been feeling really connected to him and so in love with him. He is also much more cooperative now. Doing a nappy change is actually not a Greek Drama anymore which is a relief. And he's generally more easygoing and fun to be with. The other day we did art together (ok, I did art mostly and he did it for about 5 minutes and then decided it was more fun to throw the crayons everywhere, hee hee, but still). /Edit: today he was going mental though! :S Sigh, breathing through it!

Here is our masterpiece! By Dylan da Vinci and his mummy:

He also loves to do 'tummy touches' which is where we 'bump stomachs' hee hee! Lookit:

And yesterday he was such a hoot in the bath, look at his naughty look! ;)

In other news, the Digital Dreams course is almost finished, another week and a half left and I'm so proud of the students! Some of them are doing so well and the whole course just went really well! :)

After this course, I'll be working hard on the 'Life Book Course' (so excited about this one, I might explode) and I might squeeze in the 'Fairytale Series' course, which is a course that would exist out of 5 lessons, each lesson we'd be creating a different fairytale character, but each lesson can be bought by itself. So people who are on a lower budget can also join in by just signing up to a few lessons instead of the whole course. :)

Need to see if I can fit that one in though before the new baby comes.

Gotta go to bed now. I have another driving lesson tomorrow morning! Lessons are going great btw! I'm working on trying to get my theory done now as I can't register for the practical exam before I've passed the theory one!

Hugs and snugs. xoxo :)

Let Your Heart Sing

2011-07-07T15:55:00.000+01:00

"Let Your Heart Sing"

:-) I'm very happy with the above digital piece which I created during the lessons week 4 & 5 for Digital Dreams. (You can still join if you like btw, if you want to learn how to make art like the above, just go here: http://www.willowing.org/artclasses-DD.html to sign up).

I've been feeling pretty exhausted lately though. I keep getting new viruses over and over and my back ache is still not gone. I often just want to take a week out and just sleep and sleep and sleep.

Baby number two is now 22 weeks gestation! I'm much less involved with this pregnancy than I was with Dylan, and I think the baby knows because it keeps trying to get my attention by kicking me! ha ha. It's a really active baby, much more active than Dylan ever was! It's nice though, it's like he's saying: oye, don't forget about me, I'm here too! Ha ha. In 2 weeks time the baby is officially viable which means that if he came early, there is a 50% chance he'll survive, amazing! I know it's early in the pregnancy to start wishing for him to be here already, but I do look fwd to him being out and healthy and happy and then I can kind of get my body back.

Dylan is a sort of up and down little toddler lately, he has days where he is very difficult to be around, he complains about everything and whatever you do, nothing is 'good enough' to appease him, and then on other day he is this hilarious, easy-going little boy who is just so delightful and funny! He's still not talking much, but unlike a while back when he was also not interested in trying, he's actually interested in trying now. It's quite funny though, because you'll go: 'Dylan can you say "monkey"'? And he goes: 'boobahf'. LOL. Something completely not even similar! Ha ha.

He's also lately learned to do 'thumbs up' and it does it to everything and everyone, lookit:

This is one of the most hilarious pictures I've ever taken of him!

But yes, it's tough sometimes, it's very up and down and the battle of wills can be exhausting, but in so many other ways it's also just so wonderful. A range of emotions on the spectrum.

Anyhoo, this is a short but sweet little bloggie post. Hope you are all well! <3

Muffinballs.

2011-06-30T12:18:00.000+01:00

"Friends Come in all Shapes and Sizes"
Available as a fine art print - 12 x 8" - Giclee

In Tam news. :-)

It's been busy. The digital course is in its 2nd week and going well! I'm LOVING what the students are doing and it's enjoyable for me to run a course that isn't mixed media for a change. It's very different, and I am learning a lot too. Everyone knows something different about photoshop and we're all sharing tips and tricks! So cool! :)

I'm also in the early stages of preparing my new YEAR LONG course which will start on 1st of January 2012 which I am SO excited about. The course is called: 'Life Book - an honouring and celebrating of YOU'. The idea is that students make 1 or more pages each month which they will compile in to a life book at the end of the year. It will be a glorious book that celebrates and honours everything about them. There will be one mixed media lesson by me each month PLUS 1 lesson by a guest teacher and prompts and other exercises each alternate week! It's going to be huge, fun, amazing and awesome! :)

In the mean time I'm also still pregnant! I'm now 21 weeks, a little beyond half way through and I'm struggling with my health a bit. I keep getting RA flare ups (much more than with Dylan) and I also keep catching colds and stuff. It makes me very tired and headachey. It makes things a bit harder as I need a lot of sleep and generally find it harder to remain motivated and concentrated. Anyhoo!

Dylan went through another week of being extra hard to deal with (just generally not happy, very needy and whiny), but in the last couple of days he's been his happy cheery self again.

Here is a funny vid of us. We can see ourselves in this video hence they are so funny!

Now, onto something else. I've been thinking about 'making it big' in the art industry, and one thing that is always advised and stipulated is that to get really established as an artist you need to have a strong clear art style and stick to it. So that your work is recognisable to people.

My problem with that is: doesn't it get a big boring? I enjoy doing whimsy girls one day, and then the next day I want to do more grunge realistic stuff. I find it boring to just choose a girl and draw her in a million different positions, which seems to be what some of the more established artists are doing.

My question to you, dear reader is, do you think my style(s) is recognisable no matter what style I use, ha ha. I mean, look, here is a range of my styles that I consider different from each other:

Whimsy / Stylised Portraits

grunge - collage paint soul / digital work whimsy

And then I do illustration too, like:

So, as you can see, it's quite varied. Yet, can you recognise all of them to be me?

And if not, which of these styles do you think I "should" pursue? (I'm still not sure I really want to only do one, but hey).

Thanks for reading and commenting! x Oh! also, I don't always comment back on my blogger account because I don't have a guarantee the recipient reads them (you don't get notified unless you ticked the email me option), so please know that though I don't always comment, I DO read and appreciate deeply all your comments! ooox

PS. Muffinballs is my favourite new word

Why I love Art.

2011-06-24T16:20:00.000+01:00

I was thinking about art the other day, and not just paintings and mixed media but also music, poetry and books etc. and what it means to me, why art touches me so much.

I sometimes listen to a piece of music and feel so overwhelmed by the beauty of it that I can literally burst into tears.

And I came to the realisation that the reason why art touches me so deeply is because the other artist, through their artwork, speaks for me. Their art is able to vocalise or visualise parts of my soul, deep feelings that I am not necessarily able to express for myself. And the fact that they express these feelings also makes feel deeply connected, seen and heard. It makes me realise my inner world isn't just my own, others feel similarly, have similar depth of soul and have an amazing way of expressing it on behalf of me. It touches on that interconnectedness of humanity and how we are all connected and though I might be physically alone sometimes, I am not alone in how I feel and what goes on for me.

And when I create my own art, a similar thing happens. I create a painting and things come out that I don't know how to vocalise in other ways, it's a way to express stuff symbolically and metaphorically which really touches on the much deeper parts of me.

With mixed media it happens on very deep levels as there is so much layering and texture going on. It's like each layer represents a part of me that isn't superficial or obvious, the paintings seep through the cracks of me and push forward parts of my soul that I cannot express in any other way apart from with paint and brushes.

So, thank you art, and thank you other artists. :)

And the sex of our baby number 2 is ......

2011-06-23T13:27:00.000+01:00

ANOTHER BOY!!!

it's a blueberry boy, not a girl!!

(all healthy btw too!)

I'll be honest, my initial response was disappointment. I had been bonding with and fantasising about a girl for months. And this person I had envisioned, this little girl I had been connecting with and bonded with suddenly vanished with a poof and the sight of a little willy on the sonogram screen!

I shed a few tears and connected with why I was so sad. And it was indeed just that: the person who I thought was coming, wasn't, so it felt like a loss of some sorts.

But now, after a few hours, I'm already loving the idea of bonding with a new boy and finding out all about what he's going to be like when he's here. I also really love the idea that this little one will have a big brother in Dylan and that there is -hopefully- going to be brotherly bonding and connecting with each other! Another positive about this is that rheumatism is much less prevalent in males than in females and seeing that we have RA in the family a lot, it's a good thing that this baby is a boy too.

So, I'm excited, but am also still getting used to the fact that I'll never have a daughter. (After this baby I cannot have another child as I need to get back onto my proper meds (which are lethal to a baby), I can't keep going on steroids for much longer you see. But maybe, when we're super rich and can live a leisurely life, we'll adopt a girl one day! :)

I know, this gender thing seems somehow minor, and I'm partly surprised by how much I'm affected by the fact that it's another boy, but hey, this is what's up for me at the moment, so there you have it.

I'm over the moon of course, that all body parts seem to be in order at this point!

:)

Hello love, hey birdie.

2011-06-16T11:17:00.001+01:00

Hellosies sweet reader. :-)

Inspired by some of the blog posts by Tara Leaver, I did a painting and took progress shots of it. It's fun to look back at how the painting started and where it ended up. :) Hope you like!

detail shot :-)

Progress shot 1:

So I started off doing a sketch of a portrait, female with flowers in her hair and a bird on the left of her. I then started working on her face first. Oh, this is created on wood prepared with transparent gesso. Materials are a mix of watersoluble crayons, graphite and acrylics.

Progress shot 2:

I then added paint to the roses and hair. It's weird, I was going to try create a painting in pretty muted, mostly white and light grey/ pink tones, but couldn't help myself with the darker purple and reds. Guess colours just want me and I want them ha ha! My next challenge will be to create a painting with ONLY white and black and greys. That'd be interesting! Anyhoo, moving on.

Progress shot 3:

I then applied my first layer of background. This was sort of random although I chose colours that I liked and was mindful of choosing colours that were sort of complimentary. And often, when I like the colours, they tend to be complimentary as well.

Progress shot 4:

So, then a few days went by and I let the painting just marinate for a while. There was something off for me with the face. When I started working on it again I decided that I thought the eyes were too close together, so I wanted to adjust the eyes a bit. I made them both a little smaller and I was much happier with her face this way. I liked the shape of her eyes this way too, a bit deer-esque. :) I also worked on the birdie (which was a completely new one compared to the one I had sketched) and I added more texture to the background and started with adding words. 'Hello Love' just came to me and 'hey birdie' was written on the birdie tummy. :) I used a brayer for some of the texture effects and a graphite crayon with which I scribbled lines around randomly. Colour-wise I used titanium buff for the bird, I often underestimate titanium buff. I often just think; "eugh, such an ugly colour, it looks like a very dirty white", but the colour is actually one of those colours that is really really effective. (Also for skin tone btw!).

Progress shot 5:

I then started refining the background, adding colour, paint, extra depth with texture and 'scribbles' (ha ha, hilarious: adding depth with scribbles, sounds like such an oxymoron but it ain't no no! ;)). BTW, the writing style on the chest was also inspired by Tara Leaver and Samantha Kira, I love their swirly writing styles on their paintings. :) Wings on the shoulders are something many mixed media artists do, but I am very inspired by the amazing Misty Mawn on that one. :) Essential for me was the turquoise blue that I added around the bird at this point. I enjoy it in contrast with the black that I added in the corner too.

Progress shot 6:

I then regretted having added the white to the left of her face, I wanted to go back to a darker colour there. I also wanted some more texture in there and of course: a crown on the bird's head! I like crowns, I just do, cus all of us, including animals are kings and queens, yep yep we are. :) So I added some bookpages and collaged them in. I really liked their effect in the chest section of the lady.

Progress shot 7 (final painting):

For the final touch, I was not happy with the dark black on the left of her left shoulder, in earlier stages a lighter patch there worked better for me, so I used the magical titanium buff again and used a tissue to wipe it over the dark black, I then also used a 9b graphite pencil to do some more writing over the titanium buff for depth (more scribbles for depth, ha ha!). I also outlined the white 'love word' with some graphite and now pretty happy with the overall painting, although my favourite part of it is her chest with the words and the birdie face. :)

What do you think of this painting? :-)

Here are some details shots:

I love the wood grains!

This bit is my favourite. :)

Wales, new art and Winners of Give Away announced!

2011-06-08T10:54:00.000+01:00

Hello, I'm back from Wales and had an amazing yet challenging time. :-) We were lucky that the weather changed from grey, windy, rainy and blustery to sunny and blue sky for the most part of the week! Let me tell you this helps a lot when all of your life (for a week) is lived in a big grassy field and a tent. Ha ha.

We spent the week with another 70 people or so of all ages, this brought with it a lot of joy and also challenges. The challenges were met with the approach and consciousness of NVC (nonviolent communication) find out more here: www.cnvc.org. Some of the joys were the wonderful sense of connection and community; there was always someone to support you if you needed help, someone to empathise with you if you were in some kind of pain and an allround willingness to be open, honest, authentic and vulnerable.

We were joined by two amazing NVC trainers, Catherine Cadden and Jesse Wiens - who ran a lot of the sessions and brought through a lot of love, depth, experience and inspiration.

One of the things that was hard for me and Andy was to join in on some of the sessions as we were always busy with Dylan. I would've enjoyed more 'childcare' of some kind. They organised one session where volunteers looked after the little ones and Andy and I were able to go to another session just the two of us which was wonderful, but I would've liked more of that. This was, however, the first ever NVC Family camp of this kind in the UK so it's no wonder it had some teething issues. I hope for future ones that there will be more toddler activities/ nursery type things organised so that Andy and I can also join in on more sessions.

Another wonderful thing that happened was that Callum a 9 year old boy became good friends with Dylan. Dylan absolutely LOVED him and wouldn't leave his side if he could help it. I want to share pics but need to ask Callum's mum if that is ok first. :) Many other older children played with Dylan as well which was just awesome. Dylan had a really good time. Sadly on the last day he sprained his ankle though which was a shame, but overall he had a wonderful time.

Also, the nights were totally not as cold as they were in April. Hilariously because I was expecting it to be really cold I layered up really properly the first night and found that I was, get this; TOO HOT. Ha ha. So that was great. :) The nights were doable though the biggest challenge were the noises: wind, the sound of a little water stream behind us and sheep everywhere.

All in all it was an amazing experience. I'm so proud of myself to have done it, not to mention I found out I can actually survive with only 1 shower in a whole week, didn't think I could, haha!

Anyhoo, we're back now and I'm working hard on my next course Digital Dreams (still time to sign up if you haven't already! :)) and other bits for my sites. It's crazy busy!!

Oh, here is some new art I haven't shared yet on the blog. A new digital piece:

And some new art journal pages:

This is a new mixed media piece on watercolour paper:

And these are two completely different styles, intentionally so, the first is inspired by M.A. Wakeley:

I loved the process of this, as it was all abstract and mostly about combining colour it worked as a very meditative process. I really like the final page too. :)

The second one is inspired by Jesse Reno. I call his work: 'ugly pretty'. It's the kind of art (to me) that is in many ways not attractive, but due to the many many layers/ intricacies and incredible composition and attention to details becomes short from amazing. I liked trying to do something similar but come nowhere close his brilliance, clearly, still it was fun to try:

And now without further ado, here is the video with the outcome of the WINNERS OF THE GIVEAWAY!! Congrats to all winners, pls email me if you can asap to claim your price! :) Big hugs everyone and thank you so much for taking part in the give away and filling in my poll!

Thank you babyloos, keep on rocking. Be back soon. xoxo

PS. I'm here on twitter and I'm here on Facebook. xoxo

Hello from Wales

2011-05-30T17:08:00.000+01:00

Hello! We're in Wales and it's, uhm, well it's a lot of things! Amazing, to start with. Stunning scenery, we're camping in the middle of a valley with an actual waterfall nearby! Right behind our tent runs a little stream of water which burbles at night and there are sheep everywhere! I did not know that sheep start their lives with long tails! Here they still have them which oddly, makes them look like dogs! The dreaded weather (some of you who follow me on FB and twitter may remember how worried I was about the cold) isn't as bad as I thought at all.

Well, I mean, it is pretty rainy, windy and blustery generally speaking during the day, although this afternoon we're having really warm sunny weather, but nights are in no way as cold as they were in April. At some point I was even too hot can you believe! So that was a massive relief.

Other than that it's pretty hard core. We are living in community of about 70 people of all ages which always means that difficult stuff and conflict arises.

However the whole point of this camp is that we all practise nvc in community and luckily nvc is a great method to transform conflict. Not easy by anyone's standards but effective and deeply transformative nonetheless. More when I come back on this one.

The facilities here are not great. Stinky toilets, fairly cold showers. Luckily we have our own little portaloo which is awesome as it means I can pee at night without having to go out in the cold night :). The team who organise this though provide lovely food and wonderful nvc services.

Sadly it's not easy for Andy and I to attend many of the sessions because we are with Dylan. We are looking into somehow finding a way that we can be more involved though.

Dylan seems to be having fun, sort of, but when it rains there isn't much to do for him. There is one big communal tent where he and other little ones could go but it's often in use. Also looking in to this one.

He is sleeping really well surprisingly, but he was sick this morning poor thing, he threw up all over the car!! Horrible it was, but he seems a lot better now!

I'm having Internet withdrawal symptoms and I miss my online world!!

Thinking of you all. Hopefully back soon with nice pics!

Internet access sporadic here so apologies if you don't get a reply!

Big hugs
Tam xox

Sent from my iPhone

Digital Dreams - Registration Now Open!

2011-05-17T16:18:00.000+01:00

Digital Dreams

My new online digital art course

is now open for registration!

YAY!

Do you want to learn how to create beautiful digital art? On this course I'll take you through how I create my digital art step by step. We start with getting acquainted with all the photoshop tools and then gently work our way up to creating more complex and layered and beautiful digital art! :)

You'll become a confident user of Photoshop and will learn how to make amazing 3D digital art of high quality! :-)

Come sign up now or download the course outline HERE for more details about the course!

You can sign up here for the early bird price of:

£42

or read more about the course over here: http://www.willowing.org/artclasses-DD.html

http://www.willowing.ning.com

I hope to see YOU on the course! :))

Big hugs

Tam x

You are the Sky.

2011-04-28T20:32:00.000+01:00

Hello babyloobas! (It's a new cute word I've invented :)) -- Soooo, we went camping and I started a 30 day vlog challenge which has birthed babies all over the youtube net. I haven't posted my vlogs here as I kept forgetting, but I shall post the camping ones here and link to my youtube account in case you'd like to follow all of them. I'm excited because I'll also be vlogging on my bday and on the day of the first scan of 2nd baby!

Here are the camping vlogs:

On the way there and setting up the new tent (I haven't camped since I was 18 Ha!)

Camping in somerset, day 1.

And day 2 - getting more and more exhausted and the journey home with a really good view of Stonehenge, which, oddly, is right by the side of the road!

If you want to follow the rest of my vlogs, go here: http://www.youtube.com/willowing

and here is a picture of the tent set up:

Also, look at how this funny digital overlap mistake came out. I really like it. The cam just did it by mistake:

***

Above is a close up shot of my new painting, 'You are the Sky'. Full painting is here:

(For sale, msg me if you're interested!)

I created this on wood which was prepared with clear gesso. I LOVE clear gesso, it really prepares the wood well and still shows the nice grain of the wood. Thank you Yolanda for sending the clear gesso to me as a present! :) The clear gesso has an awesome 'tooth'. The one I have isn't too grainy like my other non clear gesso. Really loving it!

Here are some more close ups of the painting:

Oh, also, I've been really intrigued and moved by this lady (see below) who's had a near death experience and describes so eloquently what happened to her during the death part. It totally moved me and gave me a lot of comfort and reassurance around death. :) Watch it, it's amazing! I'll only post the first part of the interview and links to the other 4. :)

vid 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgrEl7flT20
vid 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN-S0D3N2WM
vid 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18GWv4y6-_8
vid 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hqNRso6zqE

Snugs and Hugs to you all. Feeling a lot of love today. :) xoxox

On being an 'artist' and the relevance of that label.

2011-04-20T02:14:00.000+01:00

Being an "artist". Well now, what does that mean?

This post is in response to one of Connie's posts which she wrote in response to one of Zom's posts over here. The title of Zom's post is: 'You don't have to be an artist to make art' and her post explores ideas around what it is that makes someone a "bona-fide, proper, real artist" (why I put this in brackets will become clear later) or not and also the fact that if you can or cannot call yourself an artist bears no relevance to if you can or cannot make art (correct me if I've interpreted your post wrongly Zom, this is how I understood it).

Interestinggggg! These ladies wrote about this a while ago and I wanted to write a response sooner, but ha, life got in the way, which in one way was good because it gave me more time to mull over this topic and boy did I mull. I mulled and mulled and mulled. And the question; 'what is an artist' or 'who is an artist' brought me to all sorts of deep philosophical levels which I intend to share with you here. Aren't you lucky? I know, right!? ;) You've been dying to hear my thoughts on this. ;P

So when I read both posts, the first thought that came to me was; "why do we care if we can call ourselves an artist or not?"

I do tend to call myself 'an artist' when someone asks me 'what I do for a living', but I mostly actually say that 'I do art'. Saying that I 'do art' somehow feels less limiting and more open to me.

But for some people the title 'artist' seems to hold great meaning, perhaps it is status, or it gives people permission to create art, or feel free around making art if they can say they are 'an artist'.

Ok, mh. Well, then I thought to myself: 'well, who do I think 'is allowed' or 'can call themselves an artist'? And for me, I figured that I could only define that, if I quantified, or qualified my own personal definition of the term 'artist'. What did I mean by 'artist'? Because this label (like many and most labels) doesn't have a finite definition. Sure, there will be something in Webster's dictionary on it, but this will be limiting. Individuals and cultures all over will have a different definition as to 'what an artist is or not'. I'm aware for instance that there are some cultures in Africa that consider everyone an artist from birth simply because babies produce and create from birth and so do toddlers albeit in ways that we in the West may not consider 'artful' or 'artistic'.

So you can only really label things after you've quantified/ qualified your label. Ie: I may define a builder as 'someone who builds houses or for a living' - someone else may have a much wider definition of what builders are.

Then, I thought, this is interesting, to me it's pretty clear who can or cannot call themselves a 'builder', but when it comes to 'artist' I have a much more murky definition. Ha ha! For me, you don't have to 'make a living out of art' to call yourself an artist.

But this brings me back to why we care so much about calling ourselves that? Why care? If you make art frequently or infrequently and it makes your heart fill with joy then that is just what you do. Do you have to call yourself an artist to justify to others what you do? To feel better about yourself? To give yourself permission? Or is just doing the art enough?

I really don't care if you think you are an 'artist' or not. I care about the art you make and how it makes you feel though. :) Also when you say: 'I am an artist' (or any other label for that matter), you seem to create a rather finite/ closed off definition of who you are.

You, whoever you are, are much more than 'just an artist'. That's why I like saying that I 'do art', rather than 'I am an artist' because I am also, or rather I also 'do' mothering, woman stuff, IT things, website stuff, cleaning things (sometimes, hee), singing things, music stuff, walking stuff, holiday stuff, sitting in the sun stuff, doing wife stuff etc etc.

Labeling myself as 'an artist', 'a woman' or 'a mother' is limiting to me. When I say I am 'a woman', what am I saying? Do I refer to my physical body only? Do I talk about my personality, my characteristic? More accurate would be: 'I am a female-bodied human with both male and female characteristics' (see I told you it would get really deep and philosophical, ha ha). And I can say that I am 'a mother now' but really, I was a mother (or had many mothering qualities) before I ever had a child.

My point being here that, labels, to me, aren't useful without being clear on how you yourself define your label. Also, we can argue endlessly over who defines that label the best, but that seems like a pointless exercise. Everyone will have a different definition, none are right or wrong, they just are, like the people who own the definitions. :) We all grow up or come from different backgrounds and even within a same culture we will define our labels differently. And this is ok to me. If you are going to 'fight' the world on how they define a label that you define differently you'll keep pretty busy for a while me thinks! Ha!

There are no finite definitions of labels somewhere dictated by a magic fairy in the sky. In my opinion, there is no ultimate truth. There is no ultimate truth on the matter of 'who is an artist, mother, woman, builder or not'. There are personal opinions on that one, and that is great. :)

So, it comes down to this for me:

When you want to label something or someone it's useful to first quantify/ qualify your label and be clear that this is *your* definition of said label.

Therefore; if you classify yourself an artist (and again; this is my opinion) then you are one as that is your definition of the term. If my definition and yours match is hardly relevant really. :-)

But mostly, for me, it isn't helpful to focus on how to define yourself with labels. Why limit the multi-faceted amazing person that you are? To me it's much more important to do art and let it fill your soul with joy, love and happiness and a sense of self-connection, presence and healing. Who cares what you label yourself as, to me you are a thousand things more than those few labels. Make art, be happy. :-)

Hug hug hug.

Hibernation

2011-04-15T14:02:00.000+01:00

You are Love

Aloha lovely reader. :) How are you? I'm feeling quiet. Is that possible, to feel quiet? Like a silent sort of hibernation type thing? Just inwards stuff? Does that make sense? I wonder if it's related to the pregnancy. This pregnancy feels very different from Dylan. With Dylan I had no nausea and I had heaps of energy. With this one I want to sleep 12 hours each night and just sit quietly doing very little all day long and I'm only in week 10! I just feel like I want to sleep all the time. Sleep or sit and do minor tasks. Last pregnancy I only felt like this in the last trimester. Odd.

So yes. All feels quiet and introspective. And it seems to be the case around me as well. Even my inbox is quiet! Ha ha. It must be some planets aligning one way or another.

Anyhoo. Last weekend we did lots of fun things with Dylan. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! We went to the park and playground with him on Saturday. He had so much fun and he just wouldn't sit still. He goes exploring everywhere, including the bushes! Lookit:

We also put up his very first paddling pool which he loved:

And we went to Stanmer Park which is stunning:

I laid in the daisies blissing out!

And here are some daddy & Dylan piccies which make my heart leap and my face smile:

And lastly, pretty pics of nature:

So, I shall go back to my hibernation time and preparations for my digital art course.

Big hugs x

The day is full of love

2011-04-07T14:59:00.000+01:00

Well now, I even impress myself! Another blog post 3 days after my last! Scooore! :)

So today is a day full of love. Mostly from the sun and the sky, it is SO pretty outside, it can't not fill your day with love, look at this:

I could stare at spring buds against a blue sky forever.

I took the sunshine as a sign to go out and shop today. Yes yes, sunshine means go buy stuff girl! ;) I went out bright and early and it was just lovely browsing around town, everyone was so friendly and chatty, I was so friendly and chatty, it was like everyone, wherever I went, was my friend. Spring really does bring out the best in people.

So I bought tons of liquorice. I had cravings for liquorice in my pregnancy with Dylan and the craving has come back, so I'm now set for the whole pregnancy with many pounds of liquorice. Ha ha.

I also got lots of other bits and bobs done and bought me some trousers too! It was a productive, chatty and blue-skyed morning.

Oh and lookit what I created yesterday! I started learning screenflow, an awesome screen-recording & editing program and filmed myself creating some digital art and made an art video out of it!

If the youtube vid doesn't work for you try the blip version:

I both enjoy creating digital work AND the editing a lot. The program for editing really allows for making awesome tutorials. I'm so pleased! Now I know for sure that I can create a quality course on photoshop and digital art! yay!

And I've just been near tears and so inspired by this man's kindness:

I always feel SO touched when people care like this for others, for me that really touches on the interconnectedness of us all. I love that he cared. I loved that he did what he did I love that he helped. Amazing.

So, that was my list of love for the day.

Stay groovy my people.

Love!

Carousel

2011-04-04T00:43:00.000+01:00

You are love. You are what exists before all stories. ~Byron Katie

We went away for the weekend to Portsmouth which is near an awesome farm called Manor Farm which sits in an awesome foresty park. Manor farm had baby duckies (eeeee). There was 1 mummy ducky with 15 (seriously) baby duckies. My head dazzled at the thought of having 15 babies. Bow down to the mummy ducky. And Portsmouth had a pier with a carousel. I love carousels. Particularly this one as it had pretty horses and colours.

The weekend was intended to relax and unwind me, but that was easier said than done as things like temperature, noise, type of mattress and Dylan all influenced my nightly rest and so I came home pretty much less relaxed, but definitely having had fun. :-)

Dylan had fun too. He particularly loved swimming in the hotel pool and exploring trees near the farm, also, picking up stones, attempting to walk through puddles and befriending all the 'oofs' that came his way. He also loves sitting in the front of the car, on daddy's seat, pretending to 'drive' the car. A real boy's boy, apparently. I find it fascinating that 'boy qualities' appear so early in children even though their parents don't tend to enforce any particular gender behaviour upon them. He just likes cars, already. Mh.

I've been feeling sick. I was nauseous before due to the noro virus, but the sickie feeling has lingered on and I'm now thinking it's proper pregnancy sickness, which is weird as I didn't have any pregnancy sickness with Dylan at all and there was none of it before the noro virus either, so I think it's weird that I should now all of a sudden have pregnancy sickness, but it also can't still be the noro virus either. It's like the noro virus 'kick-started' the nausea and then my stomach went: oh yeaeahah, we're pregnant so we should be sickie. I'm not enjoying it. I'm not full on 'needing to vomit' sick all the time, but no food seems attractive or interesting and it's important to get all the right nutrients in the first trimester, of course. So I'm force-feeding myself, but I often end up eating 'crap food' which I think I can 'keep in'. Like potato wedges or something.

Anyhoo. Other than that. Things are still up and down with Dylbee. I have wonderfully amazing moments with him as well as totally exhausting ones.

Andy and I were musing on why I find it so difficult when Dylan is 'difficult' as Andy doesn't enjoy it, but it doesn't zap him from energy like it does me.

Well, of course there is the fact that

1. I am pregnant in first trimester so I'm already totally exhausted anyway
2. I have rheumatoid arthritis. One of the major symptoms of this disease is fatigue.
3. I am still fighting off 2 or 3 viruses over the last month.
4. I generally don't sleep well as I attend to Dylbee (though he hardly wakes in the night anymore)

So those factors are there anyway. But, if you look at how I've always run my life, I have always wanted ease and comfort in my life. If something doesn't go 'my way' and it's causing me undue extra effort, I figure out a way to sort it. I remember as a child (probably being 10 or something) I used to sleep in a high sleeper and if I wanted to read in bed before sleeping I only had the main light that was on. It started to bug me that I had to actually get up out of the high sleeper to switch off the light every night so I devised this system which included a piece of string and little nails in the wall which basically enabled me to remain in bed and simply pull the string and switch off the light without getting out of bed. Ease, comfort and efficiency. I've always loved that in life.

When I can't sort out a problem that makes me really uncomfortable and uneasy I get really down about it and it drains me.

And this is what is happening with Dylbee at the moment. There are several things he wants to or does not want to do like: he does not want to sit in the car seat for instance, yet we have to go home, he then screams and arches his back etc. And it's real high energy and there is very little I can do about it, OR I have to give it all of my energy to sort it out. And so because there isn't an easy solution (well there can be in the form or shouting/ hitting but of course we don't do that) it makes me tired and down.

But it's odd. Within the span of 1 day there'll be 3/4 high energy annoying moments and then we came home this afternoon and Dylan was an absolute lovely delight. So delightful in fact that I'd have another 3 of him.

So it's jumping from one end of the spectrum to the other. Like a seesaw. Ha. But through all of that, there is an undeniable force of love for the little man. A fire which I know will never burn out. Never.

I am loving how Andy is seeing and taking all this, he's saying that this baby experience, having Dylan, is making him feel more connected to humanity. He keeps saying 'this is what all the people before us have gone through' and it makes him feel connected. He's pretty amazing, my husband. :)

In other news. I had the first appointment with my new midwife for baby nr 2 last week and she was super lovely. Last time round I was pushed from one midwife to the next so none of them really committed to me, but this one is sticking with me throughout. I love that. According to her my due date is November 9th. :) I have the official dating scan on the 4th May. :)

It feels kinda strange to do all the maternity stuff and pregnancy stuff again. But also exciting. :)

Of course, it also feels daunting. If one can be this difficult, what is 2 going to do to me? Ha ha. Ah well, we shall see!

On the course front, 21 secrets has started and it's going so wonderfully. There is such a wealth of information on this course, it's super cool. You can still sign up if you haven't already. (Thank you all so much to those who have already signed up through my link, it means LOADS to me! :D).

Also, my M3 course is now available on DVD/ self study and that is going well as well! Check out HERE, if you're interested in signing up.

I am working on a new digital course which will include basics on photoshop and PDF making. People have been asking me for a while now to teach photoshop and digital art so that will be my first next course, though there are other courses in the pipeline too! More on those soon.

Oh, if you want to keep up to date with my art and products, you can sign up to my newsletter HERE.

And I am on facebook HERE and my tweetsies are over HERE.

Alright lovelies. Thank you for reading and commenting, though I can't always reply individually know that I relish in your comments and love and that I love you. <3

Magical Mythical Makings - Now Available on DVD & Self Study!

2011-03-30T14:50:00.001+01:00

Hello beautifuls!

How are you doing? I've been really sick with the noro virus. I really don't wish this upon anyone, never felt this sick before!

Luckily I'm feeling a lot better at the moment though still a little shaky.

Anyhoo, my news is that ... (drum roll) ... M3 is now available on DVD & Self Study - so if you missed out on taking Magical Mythical Makings live, you can now take it in the self study group (and you'll get a shiny spiffy DVD as well!).

Come join me on a magical journey and explore the wonderful world of Goddesses, Fairies, Angels, Mermaids and Unicorns! Explore different surfaces and be inspired by the old masters like Klimt, Froud and Mucha!

200 Students have loved taking this course when it ran online in January & February of 2011!

The DVD contains over 14 hours worth of lessons showing you step by step how I create my paintings with helpful guidance on many mixed media techniques. You will learn how to work on paper, canvas, wood and how to make a wall-hanging! This course is simply filled with endless guidance and tips on how to make beautiful mixed media creations!

For more information and to buy now, go here: http://www.willowing.org/artclasses-magicalmythicalmakings.html

This course is also part of a special offer deal if you're interested in buying more than one course, take a look here for special offers: http://www.willowing.org/artclasses-dvd-specialoffers.html

I hope you'll come and join the self study group for more magicky goodness!

Have a lovely rest of your day!

Hugs & Snugs

Tam x

Whispers & butterflies.

2011-03-26T21:02:00.000Z

So, not sure if it is/was the supermoon or mercury about to go retro but the drama continued on sturdily in Tamland! Yesterday, poor Dylbee took a tumble down a slide and scraped his little face. We were in accident & emergency again (luckily he is ok but pretty badly bruised on his face). I also received a pretty distressing email and have been feeling sicker with coughing and sneezing than I ever have. When it rains it pours huh? :)

Still, there are bits of light, whispers and butterflies in the chaos. I met up with the lovely Tara yesterday and had a wonderful chat about spirituality. The weather has been stunning, blue skies and spring buds coming out of trees everywhere. Paint splashes and a burgundy red colour deep bleeding into my soul and I met a lady today who was 84 and she was fit like a 60 year old and told me she herself had a 60 year old daughter. That inspired me so much. I love it when 'old' people don't act or feel 'old' and just do their thing and just live brightly and lightly. I find that so uplifting! :)

But, pregnancy hormones are definitely kicking in. As I was sitting in the car earlier a song by the late Michael Jackson came on (you are not alone, I am here with you, though we're far apart, you're always in my heart), and I couldn't help but cry. I feel sad when I hear MJ songs nowadays and I think the hormones are intensifying my emotions at the moment.

Dylan, though he had a tumble and he looks like he's been in a boxing match, has been in good spirits which means I've also been connecting with him more happily and deeply. He too made me cry today when he imitated something that I do without me prompting him. (I make 'houses' out of blocks for all his little figurines' and he tried to do the same thing and it was just super moving to me).

Anyway, within the chaos, I'm continually trying to stay in the touch with the butterflies. :)

Today was a bit easier.

Sending love. x

(More new art journal pages HERE). xoxo

Starshine on a string

2011-03-22T20:50:00.000Z

So, the last week and a half have not been easy in the land of Tam. It started off with me running a low level depression which evolved into a more darker depression and then transformed into a more lighter space (this afternoon), luckily. I've also had a really bad cold and have generally not been well physically (back ache and rheumatism flare up - no pregnancy sickness or anything like that btw, I didn't get sick with Dylan and looks like I won't with this one either, but I digress).

Dylan has been really sick though recovering now and he has been really difficult for me behaviourally. (yeah, if it's not the sleeping thing another difficulty will pop up, I've been told this is the story of parenthood .. sigh).

Basically, lately, everything with him is drama. Putting on clothes, changing his nappy, going in the pushchair, not being allowed holding a sharp knife, wiping his snotty nose, cleaning his face etc etc, it's all things he doesn't want to do and protests loudly and violently each time we attempt one such activity. (Mostly he cries or throws a tantrum of some sorts).

This is incredibly draining for me. I find it so so unpleasant to have this 'battle of wills'. And I feel so 'hard done' by because we, as parents, give Dylan so much freedom and choice compared to other parents and so it feels unfair that he won't cooperate with things as simple as 'putting on your trousers'. It zaps me of all energy, just one of those battles drains me for the week and they can happen several times in a day.

With all this comes; 1. self doubt ("what is we are doing so 'wrong' that makes him so defiant and non-cooperative?") 2. guilt ("i really don't want to be with him if he's like this, it zaps me from all my energy, i'm such a terrible mother, how can i not want to be with my own child?") 3. self judgement ("you are just too lazy and wary to discipline him properly") 4. confusion/ inner dialogue ("i don't want to shout at him/ get angry with him, i also know shouting isn't effective anyway - so what is effective? is gentle parenting just not getting us anywhere? i am incapable of being a 'nazi parent' - is either option then not desirable? am I just left between a rock and a hard place?") 5. exhaustion 6. sadness 7. depression.

Now, before you start connecting to the difficult stuff, I am currently in a much better place as Andy, Dylan and I have spent an afternoon in the park together and Andy and I were able to really talk and think of strategies to deal with the situation (plus I had a chocolate icecream which always helps! ;)). So, the description of the difficulty above is all about the last week or so and has now changed. I think that the fact that I'm feeling lighter has also made me able to write because I was so down last week I could barely muster up the most basics of tasks.

Anyhoo: in summary: I've been having a tough time dealing with Dylbee's frustrations and needs for freedom and choice and as a consequence have been feeling really low because of it.

I know this is a common phase in toddlerhood (testing the boundaries and really wanting to gain independence), so I know we're not alone, but we do have a more unconventional approach to child rearing so it's not easy to find the gentler approach to sorting out these problems. I know distractions is a method and reinforcing positive behaviour etc, so we're on that, but still, the whole thing is not easy by any means.

I was saying to Andy earlier that I always thought it was a bit of a cliche when people said that 'parenting was the hardest job they had ever had' and now I know that to be a truth truer than true. It *is* the hardest job I've ever done, harder than market research, harder than working in a laundry factory (which I did once for 6 weeks when I was 16) and much harder than being a full time artist and online teacher. It is a relentless, sometimes painful, deeply frustrating, unforgiving job. It can zap you of all you have inside of you and more.

It is a spiritual slap in the face sometimes as it requires a 'giving in' and a 'letting go' of all that you deem is important to you. It requires a disappearing of self, a humility and an attitude to 'serve'. It is the ultimate zen practise. (And I suck at the whole thing, lol -> I'm sooooo resisting, resisting, resisting).

OF COURSE, there are the amazing bits too. It's like this parenthood thing lives on both sides of the spectrum, you have amazingly hard and amazingly joyous moments.

Like, when your toddler hides under a towel making funny noises or gives you a huge sloppy snotty kiss without you expecting it. Or when he snuggles up to you on the couch when he watches waybuloo. Or the way his face lights up when he goes down the slide or when he swings high on the swings. The way he shouts DAAAA DAAAA really loudly to get his daddy's attention. Or the way he suddenly likes daddy's couscous food. Or the way his hair sits like little Mohawks on his head and how he suddenly knows how to put a puzzle together. The way he lights up when he sees you because he hasn't seen you for 7 hours. There are a million amazing moments and a million difficult moments.

This is it. Sitting in the fire. This is all about presence, being with what is.

Friday night, I was in tears, just crying and crying. Same this morning, feeling absolutely miserable. And oh the irony of feeling that I'm going through my darkest (so far) time with Dylan the week after I found out I am pregnant again and thinking to myself: "effing hell what are we doing having a second one?!"

And then I look at the weekly pregnancy info and read that this baby is now the size of a blueberry and that is so cute in my head, I explode a little inside and there it is; the first real bonding. I have a strong feeling the baby is a blueberry girl, very cool if it's a blueberry boy too, but my senses say a girl. And I think about this blueberry girl and all my doubts dissipate, even though she too will probably not want to wear her trousers when she is 19 months old and she'll drive me to despair not wanting to sit in her pushchair or smearing yogurt and snot all over my trousers. And I'll realise again that it's about acceptance and giving in and going with what is and presence, awakeness and presence. That is the river, that is the flow.

But, this is also about self-nurturing and self love and knowing when to take that break before you break. And I'm well aware of that and I'm taking steps. I'm art journalling more and I made a few dollies and I'm taking it much easier with my work load.

The problem with me as well is that when I do catch a virus it impacts on my RA, so I both have to fight off a virus (feeling all snotty and coughing and sore throat etc) while also then flaring up with the RA - massive joint pains) AND I'm pregnant too which is exhausting. So, physically it's even harder to deal with an irate toddler who insists on stabbing himself with the sharpest knife he can find ...

Anyhoo, so I need rest, TLC, love, kindness, empathy, connection, belonging, self love and all them other nice things we tend to forget to give ourselves.

I think I may book myself in for a spa day soon (haven't ever done that before!), I desperately want a pedicure too now that spring is a'coming. :)

So, there you have it, that was my week and a half and the turmoils of my soul, aren't you glad you stopped by? ;)

And here some more of my new art.

Oh and look how cool my 'paint over collage' prints look!

And here a sneak peak at my booootiful dollie who I looove. The wig took me many hours and I ended up covered in mohair, including the insides of my nose. :) More on her soon. x

Thanks for listening pretty reader, I appreciate 'being heard' by you.

Snuggabugs!

Oh ps. Andy is my starshine. He's so amazing in the middle of all of the dark stuff. He's my rock, my all. <3

21 Secrets - Open for registration! yay!

2011-03-14T14:57:00.000Z

Ola mah beauties and babes! :-)

Have you heard the good news yet? No? Well, here it is:

21 Secrets is Now Open for Registration!!

Won't you come and join us? It would make a Tam super dooper happeeeee! ! :-)

Join Now for Only $59!

Or read on, for more info!:-)

What do you get?

21 Amazing artist women will be sharing their art journaling mixed media secrets with you! I am one of them! Yay! You will get 21 lessons, you read that right, TWENTY-ONE! Wow, that is a lot! :)

You will have access to all materials for 4 whole months!

You will be able to post you work and connect with other fellow students and teachers.

You will be able to take part in live chats.

You will make new friends

Learn loads.

Most of all; you'll grow creatively and have a bunch of fun!

What will Tam be teaching?

I'll be showing you how I created the page below! It's a paint over collage technique which I've come to love more and more lately. It covers several collage, paint and mixed media techniques and we do some soul searching (as usual) as well! :)

What happens to your money?

For transparency reasons I want to explain how the money thing works. Each artist has been given an affiliate link by Connie from dirty footprints studio who is heading this project. Each time someone buys a course space via one of the links the associated artist gets a commission fee. So, if you click on my links I'll get some money of your course fee or if you click on one of the other artist's links they get the commission.

Now: don't worry or feel awkward, we understand you may want to contribute to many of us. The good thing is: we don't see who you pay through! We only get a notification that someone signed up via our links, but we don't know who. So there is no need for awkwardness or worry on your part. :)

Obviously, I'd LOVE it if you chose to purchase your course place through my link (butterfly happy) but I can understand if you wanted to support another one of the amazing artists on the list. :) All up to you! :)

Have you decided yet that you'll join? :) --->

Join Now for Only $59!

****

I feel really excited to be part of this awesome workshop, I hope you'll join us!

Huggasnuggs x

Tam x

The secret is out! :D

2011-03-13T13:10:00.000Z

Eeeeee! We're pregnant again! Crazy right? And this time round it happened aux naturale! (Some of you may know/ remember that Dylbee is an IVF baby). I never thought we'd manage naturally although no particular major problem was ever detected for us, we just didn't conceive!

The funny thing was that after wavering from yes to no to yes to no on the subject on 'shall we have another baby', Andy and I finally decided to have another and met with the IVF clinic on 2nd of March discussing another embryo transfer not knowing that we were actually pregnant already at that point! :) How cool is that?

We are both really pleased and excited, it also feels a bit unreal and we're in the very early stages yet. (We always tell instead of waiting 3 months as we figure we can use the support through the pain if something goes wrong). I keep forgetting that I'm pregnant again, ha ha! And, I've forgotten loads of things from the last pregnancy (like what you should avoid eating etc).

I am over the moon and I do hope it's a girl this time as I would like to experience both a boy and girl child, but if it does turn out to be a boy it'll be awesome too of course! :)

So, wish me luck with this new little one, my heart is full of love for him/her already. :D

Oh, been doing some digital uplifting creations! Here are they, hope they make you feel good about YOU today. Have a happy Sunday one and all. :) x

willowing

Printable Tam Art Calendar Now For Sale! :)

My Dream Board for 2012

Awake VS Asleep

A Tam Update! (Finally!)

Elliot is here!

You are not alone in this

The waiting game

Lou Lou & the waiting game

Dreamscaping

Me, new art, life and 'surrogate suffering'.

Inspiration Station: Mystele - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Samantha Kira - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Jane Davenport - Introducing the Life Book Teachers!

Wow - Life Book!

Life Book - Now Open for Registration!

Last 3 Life Book Teachers!

Inspiration Station: Guadalupe Brizuela Cabal - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Wyanne - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Effy Wild - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Juliette Crane - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Adriana Almanza - Introducing Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Bonnie Rose Bryan - Introducing Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Jodi Ohl - Life Book Teacher Introductions!

Inspiration Station: Connie Hozvicka - another Life Book Teacher!

Inspiration Station: Rhomany - Introducing Life Book Teachers

Inspiration Station: Jane DesRosier - Introducing the Life Book Teachers

Love these: Derwent Inktense Pencils - A Review

Life Book - more info and payment plans

Gratitude

Happy Birthday Dear Dylan

Winners of big mammoth give-away Announced!

Mercury, gimme a break yeah?!

The Big Massive Give Away is Here! :) Woooooo!

Jellyfish Pancake

Let Your Heart Sing

Muffinballs.

Why I love Art.

And the sex of our baby number 2 is ......

Hello love, hey birdie.

Wales, new art and Winners of Give Away announced!

Hello from Wales

Digital Dreams - Registration Now Open!

You are the Sky.

On being an 'artist' and the relevance of that label.

Hibernation

The day is full of love

Carousel

Magical Mythical Makings - Now Available on DVD & Self Study!

Whispers & butterflies.

Starshine on a string

21 Secrets - Open for registration! yay!

The secret is out! :D

my love, strength and support go out to the people of japan